Feeling alone can be tricky. Nevertheless, statistics show that almost one in ten people in the world feel lonely. This does not depend on age - the feeling arises among the elderly and young people, and the latter, as noted by the Mental Health Foundation, feel it more and more often. But why do some suffer in isolation from society, and some prefer to be separated from society consciously?
Loneliness cannot make people unhappy on its own, but it has harmful consequences for individuals. Loneliness can lead to insecurity and other mental health problems - stress, anxiety, depression. Research has consistently shown that one in ten of the general population of humanity is lonely. Loneliness among young people is on the rise, according to a report by the Mental Health Foundation. At the same time, social changes, such as an increase in the number of single residents and the development of social networks, combined with an aging population, are changing the way people interact with each other.
But does the modern rhythm of life make us lonely? And what exactly do those experiencing loneliness point to?
We communicate less:
The researchers note that the aging of the world's population and the proliferation of social networks are changing the way people interact with each other. Many people feel that modern society is exacerbating other causes of loneliness. Mental Health Foundation chief executive Andrew McCulloch argues that while there is no reliable historical evidence to suggest that loneliness is getting worse, which may be a subjective judgment, there are some sociological signs. “We have evidence that social bonds have weakened and families are not providing the level of social context that they might have been 50 years ago. This is not because families are bad or indifferent, but due to geographic remoteness, breakdown of marriages, multiple care responsibilities, and longer working hours. "
We move away from family:
Older people often complain that their children and grandchildren live too far away from them and are "too busy to see them." Research also shows that social isolation is associated with higher mortality rates in older people, and loneliness is the "hidden killer" of older people. However, Andrew McCulloch argues that loneliness transcends "all ages and all classes." This feeling can prevail in the life of a young person moving from school to college and struggling to find friends, single parents, or someone with no education or work.
We use social media incorrectly:
Michelle Mitchell, CEO of charity Age UK, believes there will soon be a watershed moment when society's attitude towards social connections will be redefined. “I think we will look back and think, 'How did we let this happen?' It's like going back to the question that children will work at age 12 - there is something fundamentally wrong with what is happening, ”she says. In the meantime, social networks are more likely to contribute to disunity in society. For many, the unrealistic picture broadcast on the Web makes a depressing impression. However, some are helped by social networks to stay in touch and increase the level of communication - and more and more often they are representatives of the older generations. Experts recommend helping older people learn modern technology and spend time online.
We increasingly live alone:
Sociologists have observed that the proportion of adults living alone in England and Wales nearly doubled from 1973 to 2011. One study shows that people of working age living alone have an 80% higher risk of depression than those living with families.
We have become materialists:
According to Michelle Mitchell of Age UK, people feel lonely for a variety of reasons, but it tends to be triggered by big life events. “It can be malaise, illness, money issues, moving children, feeling isolated from family, friends, and society, death of friends, lack of access to transportation, redundancy or problems with a career, and divorce. This often happens when people lose a sense of purpose or contribution. Bereavement is also a big problem - the loss of a husband or wife can have a detrimental effect on how people relate to the world, ”says Michelle.
Andrew McCulloch believes that the problem may be a focus on one's ego and material goods. “There is a philosophical problem that society is perhaps too materialistic and individualistic,” he says. "Adhering to basic social behaviors, such as saying hello or asking if everything is okay, can have a positive impact."
Dialogue with the body:
Have you noticed that some simple actions are given through incredible physical effort? And other really difficult moments sometimes seem to be resolved by themselves. For example, getting up early for an unloved job is torture. But waking up vigorously at 5 in the morning to catch a vacation at the airport is easy! If we are reluctant to do something, then we may well get sick. It's a natural reaction to go to bed with a high fever the day before an important meeting with an unpleasant client.
Faced a situation where unspoken resentment, unexpressed anger, disagreement cause a lump in your throat? Someone may even wake up with a sore throat after such silence. Noticeable nasolabial folds, headaches, migraines are often the result of a constantly clenched jaw. This is typical for those who are used to controlling everything around them - even what does not depend on them.
Sometimes a banana is just a banana:
It is hardly worth attributing all diseases and injuries to psychosomatics. Your back can hurt due to the lack of banal physical activity and a sedentary lifestyle, and not because you have shouldered an overwhelming burden of responsibility.
But listening to your body's signals is worth it. It is genetically programmed to survive and live as easily as possible, without overload. If something goes wrong, the body will report it. Our task is to hear it and take care of ourselves. You feel like you are overeating, overdoing it in the gym, not getting enough sleep. So it is with psychological moments: when you make a choice, not in your favor, the body will scream, make you feel uncomfortable.
How do I start a conversation?
“How am I now?” Is a question that helps to realize what is happening to you at the moment. Asking yourself regularly is a useful habit.
Listen to your body: how do you feel? Perhaps you clenched your jaw, felt a lump in your throat, unconsciously pulled your head into your shoulders, itching appeared for no apparent reason. All these manifestations in the body are beacons that signal failures in the psychological state.
The next question is, "How can I take care of myself right now?"
Face fitness and facial massage will help a clenched jaw, yoga asanas will open the shoulders, warm tasty tea, and experiences written in a stream on paper will reduce pain in the throat.
It's great to get the support of a specialist, with whom you will work through fears, worries, any emotional states that have responded with discomfort in the body. Give your body the necessary attention and it will respond gratefully, releasing forces, a resource to achieve what is truly useful for you.
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