As the mom of devastating news about the mass shooting at Robb Elementary in Uvalde, close to home. Both of my kids’ classrooms are close to their school’s entrance, which has worried me more than once this year. Some called the tragedy unimaginable, but unfortunately, it has become all too imaginable.
This happened on the heels of the Laguna Woods church shooting and the Buffalo massacre targeted at the Black community. The weekend after Uvalde alone saw at least eight mass shootings in the United States. It’s all too much.
After violent events like these, everyone’s mental health is affected. Even if you weren’t physically present, the trauma is still real. Combined with a constant news cycle and the tendency to doomscroll on social media, this can lead to increased stress and anxiety. Violence and the fear of violence causes both trauma and toxic stress, which are contributing factors to mental health conditions. All of that doesn’t magically go away when we’re at work.
As the founder and CEO of Mind Share Partners, a nonprofit driving culture change around workplace mental health, it’s my job not only to help employers navigate mental health at work, but also to take care of my team. Here are ways that managers and leaders can support their people and themselves through violent, devastating events.
Acknowledge the tragedy immediately.
It’s important that your team hears from you as quickly as possible. Simply naming that a tragedy occurred is a key first step that many leaders fail to do. I slacked my team to share how devastated I was, especially as the mom of two kids in elementary school, to convey my sadness about the state of the world in general, and to encourage everyone to do what they needed to take care of themselves and support each other. Make a statement in whatever communication channel makes sense for your organization.
Make space for compassionate conversations.
Be intentional about carving out opportunities for both one-on-one and group conversations. First, consider your own identity as well as those to whom you’re speaking. Are you speaking to a team member whose demographic group was the target of the violence? Are you part of a different community that has been targeted recently? Reflect on how you might tailor your approach accordingly. DEI and mental health are inextricably linked, and every tragedy affects us differently based on our intersectional identities. These experiences and emotions come to work with us.
When starting a conversation, lead with your own feelings and be vulnerable. Even if you’re sharing something small, doing so can make others more comfortable opening up. Don’t make assumptions about what your team members are feeling. Instead, be curious. Pair an observation statement with an open-ended question. In a one-on-one, you could say, “I realize that you have a lot of deadlines to juggle in the midst of everything going on.” Follow that with a question like, “How can I support you?” Next, be an active listener and gently prompt the person to say more. You could simply say, “Tell me more about that.” Finally, offer validation. Thank the person for sharing, affirm their experience, and offer up accommodations and resources as needed.
Depending on your organization’s culture, it may feel unnatural to have a group discussion. Do it anyway. Try to build a culture of trust and connection over time so that these conversations get easier. Create as safe a space as possible. If people are remote, proactively give them the option to turn off their video. Despite having a close-knit team, our meeting in the wake of the Uvalde shooting had moments of silence, which some may have construed as awkward. That’s okay. Most important is to show up for your team with compassion and empathy.
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