It is considered to be a turning point in an individual’s life as he enters the second important phase or ashram of his life – the ‘Garhasthyaashram’. A lot of importance is associated with marriages in Hinduism as it is considered to be one of the most important duties of a man’s life. Through marriage he is paying his debt to his forefathers, by procreating children and ensuring continuation of his family’s lineage.
Pre-wedding Ritual
As arranged marriages are still the primary mode of marriage among Hindu, pre-wedding ceremonies are directed towards finding the perfect match by a prospective bride or groom’s families
Even in the context where the couples who are going for a love marriage, the two families are to be introduced to each other and agree upon the finer points of the impending union.
Engagement: The engagement ceremony is known by many names – Sagai in Haryana, Roka in Punjab, Sakhar Puda in Maharashtra, Kasamdry among Kashmiri Pandits, Tilak among Marwaris, Nishchayam or Nishchaya Thamboolam in South India and Ghor Dana among Gujaratis. Exchange of rings may take place in some cultures between the bride and groom-to be.
Mehendi: Mehendi is mostly a North Indian tradition where a paste of henna is applied on the bride’s and groom’s hands. For the bride the designs are intricate, elaborate and artistic. Women in the family gathers and get henna designs applied to their hands as well. Nowadays other cultures like Bengalis and South Indians have also adopted this tradition of applying Mehendi before wedding. The Sangeet is a fun-filled ceremony where both the families get together to perform song-dance routines, and get to know each other better.
Haldi: The Haldi ceremony is a very common ritual among almost all communities in India. Turmeric is ground to a paste along with other ingredients that vary from culture to culture. This paste in applied to both the bride’s and groom at their respective places by women elderly members of their families before they are washed by sacred water. The Haldi Ceremony is known by many a name across the country, Gaye Holud among Bengalis, Pithi among Gujaratis and Mangala Snanam among Tamilians.
Wedding Ritual: The key steps of Hindu wedding ritual are Kanyadaan and Paanigrahan, Vivaah Homa, Laja Homa and Agni Pradakshina, and finally Saptapadi according to Grihya sutras. Other rituals vary according to regional cultures but these are the key steps of a Hindu Marriage without which the marriage would not be considered complete. Traditionally, the bride’s parents host the wedding ceremony and the groom and his family are the guests arriving from outside to the Mandap. The whole wedding ceremony sort of depicts a story of first meeting of the bride and the groom at the wedding mandap, the bride’s parents giving her away to this worthy man, the couple committing to each other in front of the sacred fire followed by the couple taking the seven vows of commitment to the marriage and the friends and families blessing the newly wedded couple.
The groom arrives at the bride’s house and he is welcomed by the bride’s parents first with an arti, then by feeding a drink of milk and honey known as Madhu Parka ceremony and finally before he arrives at the mandap the bride’s father washes the groom’s feet. The bride arrives at the mandap and the couple lay their eyes on each other. The father of the bride then gives her away to the groom in a ceremony known as Kanyadaan.The groom accepts the bride’s hand and they promise each other that while pursuing a life of Dharma, Artha and Kama, they will remain faithful to each other known as Paanigrahan.
Next the sacred fire is lit at the center of the wedding mandap and is considered to be the prime witness of the marriage rituals. The couple feed ghee to the fire as offering and prays to the Gods for Santati (children), Sampatti (wealth & prosperity) and Deergharogya (long and healthy lives). This is known as the Vivaha Homa.
The Seven Steps:
- First step: To respect and honor each other
- Second step: To share each other’s joy and sorrow
- Third step: To trust and be loyal to each other
- Fourth step: To cultivate appreciation for knowledge, values, sacrifice and service
- Fifth step: To appreciate purity of emotions, love, family duties and spiritual growth
- Sixth step: To follow principles of Dharma
- Seventh step: To nurture an eternal bond of friendship and love
Post-wedding:Vidaai
The post wedding rituals primarily comprises of Vidaai, welcoming of the bride at the groom’s house and reception. During the Vidaai ceremony the family of the bride gives her an emotional send-off and the bride throws back three handfuls of rice and coin over her shoulders to signify end of her debt to her parents for nurturing her and wishing prosperity upon them.
On the arrival at the groom's house, the new couple is welcomed by the groom's mother, with a traditional aarti. The bride enters her in-laws house by displacing a container filled with rice signifying that she is the bringer of abundance to her new family. She then dips her feet in a mixture of red vermillion and enters the house, leaving foot prints on the floor. This ritual is practiced as the bride is considered as a form of Goddess Laxmi. After this, a number of wedding games are played to make the bride comfortable.
Reception
A reception is either organized by the bride’s family after the wedding rituals have been completed to feed guest and get them to bless the couple. Or in some cultures it is arranged by the groom’s family after the bride has arrived from her paternal home.
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