Finding a partner who cheats on you can be very painful. You may feel hurt, angry, sad, or even physically ill. But most of all, you may wonder, Why?
A 2017 Reliable Source study published in the Journal of Sx Research began exploring this topic. The study used an online survey to ask 495 people who had been cheating on a romantic relationship for some reason. Participants included 259 women, 213 men, and 23 people who did not disclose their gender orientation. They are:
- most lovers of the opposite gender (87.9%)
- especially young adults (middle age 20)
- not really in a relationship (only 51.8 percent reported being in some kind of romantic relationship)
The study identified eight key factors that contribute to infidelity. Of course, these factors do not explain all cases of cheating. But they do provide a useful framework for understanding why people cheat. Here’s a glimpse at a few key factors to understand, why people cheat in their relationships.
1. Anger or revenge
Sometimes people cheat because they are angry or because they want to get even.
Maybe you just found out that your partner has been cheated on. She is scared and hurt. You may want to let your partner go through the same emotions so that he or she can truly understand the pain he or she has caused you.
In other words, they hurt me, so now I'm going to hurt them, which is often the motive behind the infidelity of revenge.
Anger-driven infidelity may occur for reasons other than retaliation, however, including:
- frustration in a relationship where your partner does not seem to understand you or your needs
- anger at a partner who is not very close
- anger when a partner does not have much to offer, physically or emotionally
- anger or frustration after an argument
Whatever the cause, anger can be a powerful force for good.
2. Falling out of Love
The happy feeling of romance often does not last forever. When you first fall in love with someone, you may experience the love, joy, and speed of dopamine by getting a text from him.
But the tension of these feelings usually disappears over time. Indeed, stable, enduring love exists. But those first-day butterflies will take you so far.
When jewelry is worn, you may see that love is not just a feeling. Or maybe you realize that you are dating someone.
3. Situational factors and opportunities
Simply getting a chance to cheat can make infidelity more likely. This does not mean that everyone who has the opportunity to cheat will do so. Other factors often (but not always) contribute to cheating.
Consider the following scenario: You are a frustrated young person in your relationship, and you are dealing with feelings of inadequacy about your appearance. One day, a workmate caught up with you and said, I'm really attracted to you. Let's meet sometime.
4. Commitment issues
People who have difficulty with commitment may be more likely to cheat in some cases. Moreover, commitment does not mean the same thing for everyone.
It is possible for two people in a relationship to have very different ideas about the nature of the relationship, such as it is not just, it is special, and so on.
It is also possible to truly love someone and still be afraid to commit to them. In this case, one partner may keep cheating as a way to avoid commitment, even if he or she would actually like to stay in the relationship.
Other reasons for commitments related to commitment may include:
- lack of interest in doing long term
- seeking unfamiliar relationships
- looking for a way out of a relationship
5. Unfulfilled requirements
Sometimes, the needs of one or both partners in a relationship do not meet the relationship. Most people choose to stay in a relationship, often hoping that things will get better, especially if the relationship is fulfilled in some other way.
But unmet needs can lead to frustration, which can be worse if the situation does not improve. This may provide the impetus to meet those needs elsewhere.
Unmet physical needs may occur if:
- partners have different intimate campaigns
- one partner has no interest in romance
- one or both partners often spend time away from home
6. Romantic or physical desire
A simple desire to have biological needs can be deceptive. But someone who wants to have physical relationships may also want to do so without the help of other promoters.
Even people who are physically active may still want to have more physical activities with other people. This may result in a higher level of hormones getting intimate.
7. Wanting diversity
In the case of a relationship, the desire for diversity is often related to romance (and more). For example, a person may be interested in trying to have a romance with his partner, even if they are a good match for their partner.
The variety may also mean:
- different conversations or styles of communication
- various non-romantic activities
- attracting other people
- relationships with other people more than their current partner
8. Low self-esteem
Seeking to improve self-esteem can also encourage infidelity.
Engaging in premarital physical activities can lead to positive emotions. You may feel strong, attractive, confident, or successful. These feelings can build your confidence.
Many people who cheat on their problems have a loving, supportive partner who gives them compassion and encouragement. But they may reason, They do not need to tell me that, or, They do not want me to feel bad about myself.
Bottom line
You may have heard the saying, “If a man is a cheater, he is always a cheater.” But while some people deceive repeatedly, others do not.
Working infidelity can often strengthen a relationship. But it is important that you and your partner are honest about what you can or cannot do in your relationship and keep the lines of communication open.
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