Beautiful and talented wife of successful Peter Chung. A concert pianist, she was a celebrity right. But what most people didn’t know was that she struggled almost daily against the depression and stigma that came with being the mother of a severely handicapped son.
In Stephanie’s Korean culture, families are reluctant to admit to having children with disabilities. In fact, they are regarded as being a disgrace to their parents and bringing misfortune upon their families. For this reason, many people hide their disabled children and don’t ever acknowledge their existence
Stephanie had five children. Her first child, Joseph, was born with he wasn’t aware of it for a number of years. She noticed that there was a slight difference between her first two sons. But it wasn’t until she tried enrolling him in preschool that Stephanie realized just how different Joseph really was.
Stephanie was sure it was just a matter of tural or language differences that made her oldest son different from his peers. She decided to find a Korean preschool and bring him there. it wasn’t long before his new preschool teacher suggested he might have some learning disabilities maybe he should see a doctor.
Joseph’s Diagnosis
Sure enough, doctors diagnosed Joseph with autism, a condition Stephanie had never heard of before. When she realized there was no cure for her son, she sank into a deep depression. You see, in her culture, a disabled child is considered a disgrace it’s not unusual for families to hide their disabled children away. In her darkest hours, filled with shame and hurt, Stephanie questioned why she or her son had ever been born.
she learned how to live a double life. In she seemed like she had a perfect life. Her husband was a successful businessman; she herself was a concert pianist. But few people saw the pain she suffered in private.
When Joseph was about 8 his school went on a field trip – swimming the ocean. Stephanie was consumed with last minute details for a wedding being held at their home that weekend. Swimming was one activity Joseph excelled at and he was eager to be off for the day.
The Phone Call
That afternoon, Stephanie received a phone call that would change her life forever. Her son was in the hospital from a drowning accident. When Stephanie asked if they’d been able to revive him the voice on the end of the line would only say, “Drive safely!.” In that instant Stephanie realized she didn’t care if her son was handicapped; she only wanted him to be alive.
The ten minute drive to the hospital never took forever. Stephanie pleaded with God to spare her son’s life. At the hospital, the prognosis was dire. Her son had been found by a surfer, floating in the ocean. By the time they’d gotten help, he’d ingested so much water that doctors said if he didn’t regain consciousness within 48 hours; they should disconnect him from life support.
Still, she was amazed when the phone calls started. Not long after the article was published, Stephanie met with four other moms at a local restaurant. They met as strangers. After two hours of sharing their common pain, their loneliness and their frustrations, they left as sisters.
Support Group and Bible Study Group
From these women meeting together a Bethesda Parents’ Society was formed. At first it was just the five of them. They met once a month and pooled their resources and their own experiences to help each other. They laughed and cried together. Eventually God told Stephanie to start a Bible Study. Stephanie knew from her own experience that she couldn’t have made it without God.
“Sure, other people comforted me throughout this, but true comfort and peace; you can only get that from God.”
And that was the message that the small Bible study talked about each week. At first it was just the core five women: 3 Christians, an agnostic and a Buddhist. But within six months the Buddhist mother had committed her life to Christ. Not long after this the women were talking and her friend exhorted her,
“You know, Joseph is a missionary. It’s because Christian.”
Tears begin to fall as Stephanie shared with me,
“I’d never shared this with anyone before. But when I was pregnant with Joseph, my husband, my pastor and I prayed together. I told God that I wanted to give my son to Him, to be a servant. I was hoping that he would be a pastor or a missionary.”
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