Change may be the only constant in life, but that doesn't mean it's easy. However, some things are harder to change than others, either because of the scale of adjustments they entail or the complicated processes involved in making the change. Other things are hard to change without good reason. They should be headless, but they aren't. Below I've compiled a list of the things, I think are the hardest things to change in life…and I'd love to know if you agree.
Yourself.
Even harder than changing other people's thinking is changing our own thinking. Our thinking affects our habits, behavior and ultimately the results in our life. But changing our thinking requires self-awareness and taking personal responsibility for every thought and action, an effort that can take a lifetime to perfect. Fortunately, there is no "deadline" by which we must "improve" and no "test" date upon which we must cram all our self-improvement studies. Our work here isn't done until our last breath, and I'm glad to still be doing it.
Hearts and minds.
If you've ever had a debate with someone from the opposite political party or a different religion, you know how hard people can "dig" into their beliefs. Changing hearts and minds is incredibly difficult, especially when it involves deep-seated issues of faith or political loyalty. I guess that's why religion and politics are two taboo topics of conversation at cocktail parties…
Career.
So many people stay in their chosen career path because of the fear or belief that they are too old, under qualified, or unable to compete with others more experienced than themselves. Some simply don't want to "rock the boat" as they support their families, while others don't have the budget to invest in further education or skills. Be that as it may, changing careers is perceived to be as difficult as pulling a boat through concrete.
Zip code.
I don't just mean changing the 5-digit number in the mailing address. I'm thinking of physically packing up my life and moving. I was pretty excited when I moved into a brand-new home, but after unpacking the boxes, reality set in: new commutes to learn, new hairdressers and service providers to find, a new community to acclimate to, and new friends. In this case, we simply cannot slam the door on change.
Banks.
Apparently, people change spouses before they change banks, which is why I listed it as "harder" than changing relationships. I know money is an emotional topic for many people, but why are we so attached to our financial institutions? It seems like it should be easy to switch banks, but I guess it's not. What are people afraid of anyway? Hidden fees and bank charges? That crappy interest they get on their checking account? Do you need to meet a new cashier? Please someone advises me.
Relationships.
Changing significant others can be an emotionally torturous process. Many people know they need to change their relationship, but they don't. And sometimes it's serious, like leaving a partner who's unfaithful or saying "no" to someone who's abusive. From the outside, it might seem like leaving should be a given, but the truth is that change is never easy when it comes to matters of the heart.
Surname.
Sharing a home and a bank account after marriage is fine, but changing our identity – as women – is a mental hurdle for many. If we had a career before marriage, that starts us at zero in terms of reputation. It can even prevent old friends from finding us. Nothing identifies who we are more than our name, which is why it's so hard to change. The legal processes involved in changing one's last name are also difficult - Social Security Administration, DMV, passport agencies - in truth, that's why I haven't done it myself.
Time zones.
Adjusting to a new time zone isn't just about getting a little more sleep or drinking a few pots of coffee after landing. In fact, we need an entire day per hour of time difference to function normally. In many cases, before we adjust to the new time zone, it's time to fly back home!
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