Winter in kashmir is always a very awkward time, with its many gray days and not much sunshine. I woke up feeling heavy, lethargic, and still tired. I pulled back the cover over my head and wanted to get back to my safe sleeping position. I thought something was wrong but didn’t really care what it was. I knew I didn’t want to face another terrible day out of the sleep world. I was scared, but did not know why. I'm out of bed and into the bathroom. I could not decide whether to shave or bathe first, then made the very difficult decision of taking a bath. Common thoughts that pop into my mind every morning, will I ever recover from this feeling? Why did I always feel like this? Maybe this is normal and can I finally overcome it?
In the end, I was fully awake, the little things seemed monumental, difficult and overwhelming, but I kept going. I started my day by looking for faults in everything except myself. If I'm very angry at people close to me and I do not notice it, then I work from house to house. The rest of the day, at work, I was shocked to see people talking to me and asking questions, but nothing happened. From the outside I kept a large front without anyone seeing, but I was trapped in a world of deep darkness.
Even though I wrote them, I forget them very easily. The company, no matter how I set things up, didn’t matter, because I was depressed and cloudy. I could not decide exactly what to start with because it all seemed overwhelming. When I started anything it seemed like it was climbing a mountain and I could not see the top. Sometimes I feel drowning or a small hope for something. I thought no one knew what I was doing or could help me. I was easily angry and irritated at everything and everyone. The panic and anxiety attacks happened in the middle of the night and were not fun.
That movie was terribly horrendous on my normal day, where I had to repeat the same day over and over again until he recovered. I later found out that I was depressed somewhere and could not comprehend or accept it. When I finally agreed that I was depressed and that I needed to do something, it took me a while to find the right solution through trial and error. You are the only person who can bring you out of depression, but I must tell you the big secret of my success.It took me 6 months.
Now that I am doing a great job, I have the focus, drive, energy and attention to what is happening to me and others. I jump out of bed, can't wait to fix all the problems at hand (they are problems now, they were big problems before). I do not have the same emotional dispositions as before. I do not walk around wearing "pink tinted glasses" in any way, but now have a clear view without feeling dim.
Depression is a mentally exhausting journey that most people experience during their lifetime, but there is a lot of support where depression does not have to rule your life. The answer and treatment will vary from person to person. What works for one may not work for another. Depression negatively affects you and others to control and regulate. Depression drives you so deep that you feel that you have no power to achieve anything or that you have no power to overcome a vicious cycle of your own. Depression is a disorder that is affecting more and more people. Now is the time to get out of the emotional numbness and rollercoaster you experienced, but can't remember where.
It is your right to feel normal and to manage life. When people look at others calmly and calmly, they may seem to be in control of everything, which it probably may not be, because most of us can be better ahead. It's okay to have a good front for a while, but you have to let go of distractions. “Depression slowly destroys your will power and destroys any attempt to find your happiness for a normal life, which is not what one wants.
In conclusion, I want you all to know that depressed people are very intelligent, loving and sensitive people who contribute a lot to the world, but they need to realize that they are frustrated, accept it and find a solution.
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