It has always been the same, similar to a poorly written conflict between two people. Some people defend their truths with their fists, while others have sharp tongues. Each is hesitant to surrender.
But is it really important?
A significant number of people on this planet struggle to improve their conditions of living. It's easy to understand this. Each person has a list of beliefs that are ingrained in their very being. But from what I've learned, if your life right now isn't exactly what you want it to be, your guarded beliefs aren't just working for you.
We feel the need to defend ourselves against other people's thoughts, words, and actions—or the entire world—for various reasons. It may be the only option available to us. You kind of need to know how to defend yourself from a bully. Or, for instance, if someone attempts to harm you or violates your human rights. However, our shielding sense developed way greater than that.
Nowadays, almost every conversation involves defending oneself.
I once heard a discussion between two or three wedded individuals in a store. The wife was reaching for a large container of white bread to add to the cart, which was already full. Her husband kindly assumed that maybe they didn't need to buy bread today because the cart already contained a lot of boxes of frozen pizza and pasta. The wife immediately turned against her instinct to defend. She pointedly informed her husband that she was the one who cooked in their home and, as a result, was better aware of what they needed and threw the bread packet into the cart.
The idea that her husband could have saved their family money. However, despite the fact that her decision was not the most prudent, the wife chose to guard her belief that, as the cook, she was also the one to decide. Even though there wasn't much to defend, her instinct to defend took over. She was not being taken advantage of by her husband. In addition, isn't it petty to ruin relationships and your partner's respect for you over a packet of white bread that will probably be thrown away in a few days?
I can only imagine what this couple goes through on a daily basis as they struggle against the iron bars of their defending instinct, which appears to be in charge of their lives.
You might think the example is silly, but these things unfortunately happen every day. In addition, one of the primary reasons why relationships end, friendships end, and personal development slows down is the improper application of one's defense instinct.
But is it really important to always be right, even if doing so means losing good relationships, respect, happiness, and money? How many people have come to you with information that has the potential to forever alter your life? However, all we do is activate our defending instinct as though our very lives depend on it, rather than listening to it and taking it in.
But exactly what do we stand for? Ironically, we uphold beliefs that never serve us well. Why? I suppose that lack of openness and awareness is the problem.
Even in the simplest decisions, like deciding whether to buy bread today, if you see the world as a danger, you will undoubtedly need your instinct for defense. But is the world really as bad as we think it is? Or, to put it another way, does the fact that we think the world is dangerous make us better?
My opinion is that it only serves to emotionally enslave us, rendering our hearts inaccessible like a block of ice, blinding us to our emotions, and most definitely preventing us from progressing through the stages of personal development.
Now, when the stakes are so high, is it really important for you to always be right? Is it preferable to be happy or right?
I just recently learned this trick, which I use whenever I feel the need to unleash my defending instinct at the wrong time or location. Despite its simplicity, it is a con.
Imagine that you are exhausted each time you feel the need to defend yourself and are unsure of the appropriate setting and time. You are so worn out that you cannot even speak. Closely observe the person you are talking to. Consider whether being right is more important than being content, complete, and peaceful. Is what this person has to say useful to you? Perhaps, everything this individual needs to say is precisely the exact thing you want to improve your life.
If something has never been yours, no one can take it from you.
- Attempting to defend one's beliefs is not always a logical action. Beliefs that help you make better decisions and improve your life are not going anywhere. You have them. In addition, the majority of the time, the fundamental beliefs we hold are not the ones we feel like defending.
Nothing really matters in this Life
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