As noted above, marital rape has not always been illegal, but it is currently against the law in all 50 states.
Fortunately, feminist movements beginning in the 1970s began to address marital rape by arguing that it was not an individual problem but rather a societal issue that was allowed to continue because of a patriarchal system that promoted male violence and female subordination.
Throughout the 1970s and 1980s, all 50 states began to reform rape laws in some fashion, either by removing or reducing the requirement that victims demonstrate resistance or by lessening requirements that third-party witnesses be able to corroborate the victim’s accusations.
At this time, all 50 states have laws addressing criminal reproductive assault in marriage, but some states may offer lesser criminal sentences to perpetrators based upon marital status or reduce standards for demonstrating consent in marriage.
In some states, despite the criminalization of marital rape, language in the law makes it more difficult to convict a perpetrator of felony reproductive violence if the victim is a spouse. Furthermore, 20 states have marital distinctions which give spouses greater access to the victim’s bodies, even when consent is not given.
In summary, while marital rape is recognized as a crime in all 50 states, it can be more difficult to prove marital rape or to have a rapist convicted of a crime when the victim is a spouse.
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Regardless of what a perpetrator may try to tell you, marital rape is an act of domestic violence, and it is not acceptable behavior. If you have been subjected to rape within your marriage, there are professional and legal services available to help you.
Some options for seeking help if you have been a victim of marital rape are as follows:
1. Contact local law enforcement
While state laws vary in the way they address marital rape, the reality is that spousal rape is a crime in each state. If you have been a victim of reproductive assault in a marriage, you can report the crime to police.
Reporting marital rape may result in the creation of a protection order, which makes it illegal for your spouse to have any contact with you.
This can protect you from further instances of rape. Throughout the legal proceedings for a marital rape case, you may also be provided with a victim’s advocate who can provide additional support.
2. Participate in domestic violence support groups
Marital reproductive assault is a form of domestic violence, and local support groups can link you to others who have lived through the same experiences. In these groups, you can connect with others who can validate your experience and help you to develop coping strategies.
You can find information about local resources, including support groups, here:
3. Reach out to a therapist
Being a victim of marital reproductive adult is a form of trauma. You may feel anxious, betrayed, depressed, and alone. Working with a therapist can help you to overcome some of these feelings and heal from the trauma that arises as a result of reproductive assault in marriage.
4. Go to a domestic violence shelter
Many communities have a domestic violence shelter where victims can go, even in cases of emergency, if they are not safe at home. If marital rape is ongoing and you are seeking a safe location where you can escape the maltreatment, a local domestic violence shelter can provide assistance.
Shelters not only provide a safe place to stay; they can also link victims to other forms of assistance, such as legal resources, support groups, and mental health services. If you’re ready to leave a reproductive abusive relationship, a local domestic violence shelter can be a good starting point.
5. Call a domestic violence hotline
If you’re unsure of where to start, contacting the National Domestic Violence Hotline can link you to assist and help you to explore your options when you’ve been a victim of spousal rape. This resource offers help via phone calls, text messages, and Internet chat.
The hotline can link you to local resources, help you to develop a safety plan, or provide you with immediate assistance for domestic violence.
There are numerous resources available to victims of spousal rape. Reaching out for help can seem scary, and you may not be sure of what to do. The good news is that you do not have to have everything figured out when you make a phone call or contact a local agency for support.
Perhaps you just want mental health resources to help you overcome the effects of marital rape, or maybe you want to get in touch with others who can provide emotional support. There is no requirement that you be ready to leave your marriage or file criminal charges against your maltreatment .
When you seek help, mental health professionals and other support staff will meet you where you are and provide you with the kind of assistance you’re seeking, whether you want support to help you cope or you’re ready to end your marriage.
Takeaway
If you have been a victim of marital rape, it is not your fault, and you are not alone. There is support available, including mental health services, domestic violence hotlines, and support groups.
The primary concern when seeking assistance for marital rape is the victim’s safety. If you or someone you love has been a victim of reproductive assault in marriage, it is important to develop a plan of safety.
Reaching out to a professional or local law enforcement agency can help you to develop a plan for safety and begin healing from the traumatic effects of rape in marriage.
So, what is considered maltreatment in a relationship? It’s very broadly anything that can harm you physically, mentally, or emotionally. No one should ever have to suffer at the hands of others. They themselves might have been victims once upon a time, but nothing ever excuses turning on others.
Abusive relationship patterns rarely end and never without help. It’s tempting to tell ourselves that things will change when we face different types of maltreatment in a relationship. Nevertheless, the only way to help ourselves is to get help.
With a therapist or support group, you can heal and recover. You can find people to talk to who have been through their own experience of maltreatment. There’s power in the community that will reawaken you to find the life you deserve, free from harm.
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