1. Being assertive isn’t being an asshole.
“Asshole” is a term that most men (and people…) want to avoid like the plague.
There are just a host of negative connotations that come with it, and let’s face it, they are sometimes true.
But work and relationship contexts aside, the worst part of the term “asshole” is the way that women use it to describe a man that takes charge and isn’t afraid to offend others with his opinions. It’s almost as if assertive is interchangeable with asshole at times, and it’s a shame.
But I’m here to tell you that there are zero, absolutely differences between being assertive and an asshole, and that you should never be afraid to be assertive and have your opinion heard.
I’ve met far too many men that simply don’t like confrontation or to rock the boat – that’s a dangerous slippery slope because it can be so gradual that you eventually find yourself mute in the relationship. Wait, since when is it being an asshole to just say what’s on your mind, or even what your preferences might be?
Assholes prod and provoke to make a point, which are often punctuated by emotional outbursts and accusations. Women have no issues responding to logic, so if you approach them on that level in an assertive manner, you will have their attention, respect, and never be called an asshole.
Assholes also tend to make points that aren’t related to the actual point, which is mostly a matter of twisting the knife that they can sometimes wield. Not pleasant.
Tell me what you think women like: a passive man who bends to her every whim and is essentially whipped… or a strong man that isn’t a doormat, who forces them to respect them, can take charge when necessary, and can be equals with them. Hint: it’s not the first one.
So embrace assertiveness, because it is easy to do so without being a raging asshole.
2. Tarzan usually leads.
Men instinctually know that women want a man who leads. It’s what every movie and Disney prince portrays, and it’s not a stretch to say that our modern conception of romance and chivalry comes from popular media.
Even the high-powered female CEO wouldn’t mind taking a backseat in her relationship at times, if only to give her mind a break from her demanding job. If you have to lead a relationship constantly, it’s just draining and another source of work… not quite what you hope to get out of being with someone.
Gender roles aside, many women also instinctually want a man like this – however, they may not allow or give their man an opportunity to actually lead. They will either take the reins themselves, or shoot down the man’s relatively subtle attempts to lead in favor of doing things their own way. It’s a process that is like the Grand Canyon forming – it starts slowly, and you don’t even notice that it’s happening… until, surely enough, you’ve taken the reins over from him and are planning out your weekends unilaterally.
So having this knowledge of what women desire… lead like men do, and don’t let her take those reins! Be primitive and dominant, Tarzan. Take charge and plan outings. To get her to play her part, don’t be afraid to suggest that she fulfill the role of being the woman that you can take care of. These women appeal to his sense of animal masculinity and dominance and encourage him to bring it out. You will be surprised at how she will embrace that role if you embrace yours.
So more often than not, take hold of the reins and be the one to kill her spiders, open her jars, and be her Prince Charming in all ways possible. Feeling needed is a big part of the masculine drive for men in a relationship. We know that we’re supposed to assume that role, and when we do, a whole other side of seductive dominance will come out. Once you feel the rush of taking control, you will embrace it like you never thought possible.
You will also never have to question if you are whipped, and it will restore the perceived balance of power in the relationship, which is powerful.
You must be logged in to post a comment.