From engagement to marriage is a big step. It's not just an exchange of rings and wedding vows, it's an exchange of one lifestyle for another.
Even as an engaged person, he had some independence, which meant you had some space of your own.
There was a part of your day or night where you were your own person. It more or less disappears completely in marriage.
No matter how much freedom you have in your marriage, how flexible the boundaries are - you still have to remember that now there is someone else that you have to keep 100% in your life cycle!
If you are going to be late from work, you need to make sure your spouse knows. If you're not going to be home for dinner, they need to know.
If you miss the dry cleaning on the way home and need it for the next day, they need to know so they can have it! That's a big life change.
At first, it feels like you're answering to your parents again! You may even rebel against the idea. But think about it for a moment.
Your spouse always walks through the door at 18:52 - give or take 4 minutes. Dinner is waiting for you on the table. At 19:20 dinner is cold and they still haven't arrived.
8.25pm when they walk through the door you're in the middle of dialing the local hospital because you're sure something has happened to them.
They smile and apologize for being late, but they are caught up in a last minute meeting.
Don't think of the suffering you went through to imagine them hurt or worse! You don't want to be the one who feels this way, so make sure you don't do the same to your loved one!
Letting your partner know about your schedule is a sign of consideration. Acknowledging that the other person cares about you and will worry if you are not where you said you would be when you said you would be there.
Also gone are the days when you could say, "Sure, I'm coming over for pizza tonight!" to colleagues without thinking about it.
First, you need to call your partner and tell them that this is what you are planning and make sure they are okay with it.
Yes, I know, too bad they aren't, but they might have other plans for the evening that you don't know about, so it's worth checking first! Being considerate of your new spouse is the first and most important aspect of your marriage in the early days because it is also the most difficult to adjust to.
Is your music too loud? Does your partner want to watch another channel? Do you take all the covers to bed?
Do you snore You don't control these things because you benefit from it, nor do you usually complain about them as a partner, but you do them because you want your marriage to be a partnership of two equal partners.
If you are arguing about something, find a common middle ground. There should be no power struggle if both sides respect each other enough to recognize that both people have the right to hold different opinions.
Don't back down from confrontation, don't push your advantage, be respectful of each other and negotiate a situation you both agree on.
In the first weeks and months of marriage you will discover many new things and sometimes not exactly what you thought they would be, but if both parties add consideration to their offer of love, trust and respect, then married life will soon be.
Settle in and get used to doing things without grudges or obligations. You will do them because you want to.
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