What Happens When the Death of a Loved One is more Frightening than Your Own?

Death. We will all experience it at one point or another. Almost all of us have had someone dear who died. Being scared of death is natural, but what happens when the death of a loved one is more frightening than your own?

You assume the parents will die first. The kids will live to become parents and experience their own life. The cycle will continue, never-ending. So what happens when this cycle is broken, and the child dies first? Can you try to forget the event and move on? Does the subsequent missing cause only loneliness, or is there more? Can you replace the deceased with someone else? No, I think no matter what you do, the scar will never completely heal.

As a parent, one of life’s greatest gifts is the opportunity to have a child of your own and watch them grow, to see the smile on their faces every morning, to pick them up when they fall or fail at something, to hear them say “I love you” and know that they mean it, or having those little arguments where they claim to be adults but, in your heart, they will always be your babies. To watch your kids have kids of their own and for them to be by your side as you bid your final farewell to the world, that is what we all hope for.

I'm a bereaved parent who wishes there was a term like orphan or widow to describe my status. Some say there is no such title because the death of a child is too awful to put into words. So, to have that child taken away from you in the blink of an eye can be as painful as a stab in the chest.

But grief is a tidal wave that sweeps you away. It smashes you with unimaginable energy, carries you into the night, drops you on hard surfaces to be tossed out into an unknown ocean, battered, reshaped. If it doesn't kill you, Grief makes a new person out of you, one who is understanding, who can empathize, who has learned to appreciate the little things. In fact, grief is one of the most intense feelings a human being can experience. Your grief may be the product of countless different circumstances, such as cancer, lifelong disability, or amputation, but it is always the same.

You are a fighter with invisible wounds. You feel the pain from a loved one's loss and believe your joy has been robbed. You feel torn inside, and grief settles like a heavy fog in your heart and mind. You will only be able to work through your grief when you realize what it is and how easily your feelings, emotions, and even your entire being can be imprisoned by it. Understanding your grief and what you can do to heal helps you start your journey to a healthier and happier place.

That is what this article intends to do, to share in your grief and provide both understanding and tools to guide you through the tunnel.

The first step to recovery, you need to understand the different feelings associated with grief. It is important to remember that each person's struggle is different. Regardless of the cause of your grief, it is my deepest wish to say that I know that you are on a painful journey. I extend my sympathy and affection to those who are weeping, mourning, injured, disabled, lonely, or broken-hearted. I welcome you who have had intense pain, grief, or suffering and have lived! When a major loss happens, you can be surprised, shocked, and filled with hopelessness. All feelings you can feel–powerless, alone, abandoned, lost, and desolate.