What do you feel when you ask your father for money?

Have you ever asked your father for money?
It is difficult to describe this pain in words, but what should I do, someone who is fond of handwriting, will have to write it. This question still wants to be answered. And the real meaning of this question, the feeling behind it, will be able to understand only those who are lost in the 'delusion' of dreams somewhere outside the house. The answer to this would be simple for me and you, "yes!". But do you feel the pain behind this answer? Age 20 to 24 years and running like dogs behind dreams in the name of job. Yes this is the age when father wants to rest and father has a small wish that now my son will help me in my work, earn himself. Yes, this is the age in which many children leave their dreams and choose different paths. Yes, this is the age in which some boys often choose their own path, dream. Yes, this is the age in which boys become stigmatized."  His life is depends on his father". Nevertheless, they shamelessly set out on the path of their dreams. But dreams happen that hands do not come, they also want to compete with us. Wants to run barefoot on hot roads. Because the funny thing is that even to buy slippers you have to message again, "Dad, I want some  money!" And from there comes the same answer as "Okay." And then I set out to understand what 'okay' means. Did he just say 'Okay', or did he hide the problem and say, "Ok, I Will manage." Was this his feeling? Or "you call only when you need money". Or hid the situation and said, "Okay" is money, if not for you, then for whom? And he himself is working twice as hard. And by not spending it on himself, he is accumulating money for his son's dreams. Or maybe he would have said in the same spirit, "Okay son, we will work very hard for you, just keep doing it". He dedicates a lot to us. Just keep doing it....! What to say on this now? We work diligently, Papa, but nothing will be found so easily in a crowd of crores. Actually, it is our fault. We were the ones who gave him false hope. We always say to him just few more days', but these few days are changes in a few years. But nothing happens. And every time we start looking for new excuses like this. And we repeat the same thing every time. "Yes, Dad, just one more year!" And that person blindly believes in this, too. Why wouldn't he, he has a son of his own, right? For the sake of his children, he forgets his life and feeds us. I am not talking about those people who do not hesitate to ask for money. I'm not even talking about people who think, "Hey, if the father doesn't give money, who will give it to his son? He Can't do that much for his son." I am talking about people who understand this. I am talking about that 'responsible' boy from every middle class family who wants to do something different. But either he gets buried somewhere under the burden of responsibility, or he gets caught in 'delusion'. I am also one of those people. Every time I also start thinking that how should I ask for money today? I delete the message by typing, then typing again. Sometimes a day before asking for money, I talk to my father on the phone. Often I call the day before so that I can inquire about his health. Sometimes the question that comes out from him, "How much more money do you need now?" And then I put on the fake mask and every time I answer."  No Papa, I Have" and hang up the phone. Then after few minutes a text message appears in mobile "Rs 3000 deposited in your account!" But how much of a liar do we have to be for this Rs 3000? Does the same happen to with you? So what excuse do you make? The problem is that ever since the idea of ​​going on different paths comes in our mind, only then the difference between us and Papa keeps on increasing. And the phone conversation just goes like, "How are you dad, had to talk to mom, will you give her a call?" There is a lot to talk about, every time the courage gets a little less. We don't have the guts to explain that "Dad, I work too hard". I don't have the guts to explain that, Papa, I don't do any wrong. The path I have chosen is not wrong. I don't spend extravagantly. Now how can I say that air, water, bread, clothes, house everything is sold for money in this city.  And they are so quick to collect money that they cannot even breathe. Those people charge extortion in the name of everything. So you tell me what should I do now? Can't even leave dreams in the middle. Just as an alcoholic cannot give up alcohol, it is difficult to give up the intoxication of dreams. Empty pockets are filled by borrowing from friends. But how long will they give? When the money runs out, it seems like 'nothing will happen'. When you lose, you are even ashamed to ask for money from your family members. Darkness falls before the eyes. I look for ways to make money every day, but get nothing. Although people advise fulfilling your dreams while doing a job, but the job is of 8 hours, when will you work and when will you are fulfilling your dream. And he doesn't even get enough salary to survive. Even though some people say that brother gets everything by hard work, money doesn't matter, no one needs to be in touch... Actually, he talks like that, who has achieved everything in his life Is. And today nothing is achieved without contact. After all, we too get tired of adopting all the methods and again become dependent on this message, "How are you, papa?"