What I have seen in society today is that everyone has a problem with the truth. I do not mean that we lie all the time, but we are always afraid of hurting anyone's feelings or getting involved in any kind of confrontation with the person we are talking to or even with. Better with whom we live. Sometimes we worry about someone's reaction to us so, we twist the truth or try to figure out what that person wants to hear.
It really starts to get bigger in personal relationships when couples are afraid to express their desires for fear of breaking up or divorce. People may have a problem with the truth at work, when a supervisor may be concerned about the employee's reaction to a poor performance appraisal. In education, a teacher may be concerned about the reaction of a student or parent, and may easily give grades that do not match the student's performance.
When I was in high school, my guidance counselor called me down to his office and pulled out my grades. He said, “What do you want to do when you’re through with high school?” I told him that I didn’t know, and then in the next breath, thinking that I had to tell him something other than the truth-that I wanted to be a bartender, I told him that I wanted to be a lawyer. “A lawyer,” he said, pointing to my grades, “These are not lawyer grades. If I were you, I would start to think about doing something else.” I walked out of his office, and wasn’t the least bit offended. I didn’t even think about going home and telling my father that my guidance counselor said I wasn’t smart enough to be a lawyer. I never said one word to my father, You know that This guy really told me the truth, and now the truth set me free. She did not work hard academically for the first three years. I began to think realistically about my future. And my mentor compelled me to look hard in the mirror, and to be in line with my abilities and my attitude. He told me the truth, and I admired him.
Well, in 1977, my dad sold the bar, and I became a teacher that year. And I really enjoyed teaching. I was a special teacher. Many of my students had academic or behavioral problems. In fact, my students usually had the worst behavior problems at school and could really reach me in a few days.
But overall I developed relationships with the kids, and things seemed to always go pretty well. As I progressed in my career, I noticed that things were changing. I was expected to put up with more and more behavior problems, and everyone was giving me some excuse for a kid’s deviance. The catchphrase that seemed to be in vogue about 20 years ago was, I really like this kid, but I don’t like his behavior. Was this the truth? I don’t think so. Is it really possible to like someone and not like their behavior? The truth is, we don’t like the person because of his behavior, and people need to be made aware of this in a considerate way. A person is his behavior, and the two can’t be separated. I can give you the names of people who are well known in society for absolute deviance, and you tell me if you like them, but not their behavior. Let’s try Charles Manson, Scott Peterson, Jeffrey Damper, or even Adolph Hitler. Can anyone not like their behavior but, still like them as people? No, we don’t like them period. The perception we have of a person is based on his behavior. The truth is, if the behavior is not likable, we probably will dislike the person. People need to know that if their behavior doesn’t change, then others won’t want to develop meaningful relationships with them, and ultimately won’t like them.
Choose, a good vocation and helped me to understand how I needed to improve my work ethic. Subsequently, instead of floating through life unsuccessfully from one job to another, I worked hard in college, graduate school, and then as an employee. So the next time your kids come home and say that their teacher told them that they have to work harder, or their work is unacceptable, or that their behavior is unacceptable, or they better consider going to a county college rather than Dartmouth, thank that teacher for doing something that is a rarity today-speaking the truth.
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