Creating bonds with another person can be very special but it can take work, patience, and empathy. In a work setting, it is required that team members work together but many do not take the time to understand all the intricacies of other people. We are all complex human beings and with that, there are times when our actions and those of others don't make sense or are counter to our beliefs, etc.
There are several key areas that each team member needs to understand to build bonds. Communication is the most important, however, this seems to be the most complicated one. It is not only the words one uses but also body language, inflection, tone, etc. that we have to take into consideration. How one communicates can also be an issue. As an example, I refer to texting as "sanitary communications" because when a person texts, the recipient may not be aware of the emotion behind the message. One could text "I hate you" but they could be joking around versus being serious. A good communications strategy to follow is to make a phone call or schedule a face-to-face meeting if the issue is sensitive. If the message has complex language, directions, etc., an email with an attachment is acceptable but a follow-up dialogue should be expected afterward.
In a meeting, various ice-breaker activities could be utilized but the leader or meeting coordinator must be careful not to step on another person's toes. Some team members may not be willing to share personal information which may include what they did on the weekend. Keeping with safe topics like food preferences, TV shows or movies, superhero characters, etc. does get team members to reveal more about themselves in a non-threatening manner. If the group is pretty cohesive, Two Truths and a Lie or describing an Aha! A moment in their lives works well.
The team needs to make a pact that they will try to put aside their differences and work more constructively and effectively. There may be some who are stubborn and feel that "this worked fine all these years, why change it?" but they may not be aware of the larger strategic objectives of the organization overall. They may also resent what they see as preferential treatment of some team members over others as well. As a leader, trying to get others to build bonds is a challenge but can also be rewarding when others finally recognize the value of collaboration, communication, and trust.
When dealing with different personalities, genders, backgrounds, etc. there is bound to be conflict within a team. The issue is that most people do not like to deal with conflict, but it can be helpful. Conflict arises when there are opposing viewpoints or actions between the team members. It can be something as simple as a disagreement over a minor change in a process to friction over a major initiative that someone wants to implement.
Regardless of the issue, the best way to deal with conflict is for team members to discuss the issues openly and fairly. Instead many people want to avoid these critical conversations at all costs, or directives have been put in place at the corporate level that can't be shared with everyone. Keeping lines of communication open at all levels reduces friction, gossip, and rumors. To do it properly, the messaging must be not only accurate but consistent in its presentation and content. Too often, communications are vague and misleading which potentially makes the conflict even bigger than when it started.
The other problem is that certain companies have cultures where conflict gets "brushed under the carpet." This can also lead to incorrect speculations and possibly fear within the team. Leaders need to understand each team member's perspective on an issue and get his or her feedback. They may be perceiving the conflict completely differently than what is happening, or they are possibly interjecting their past into the situation.
The best way to start resolving a conflict is to make sure everyone understands the root cause of the disagreement. There may have to be several discussions about this to finally get to the real issue. The team then has to understand that everyone may not have the same opinion on how to deal with the conflict, but it should be agreed upon that each person has an opportunity to voice his or her opinion and be respected.
The outcome should be one where everyone feels it is a win-win resolution. It probably won't be a 50-50 win, but at least the team members should feel that they were part of the process and that they are willing to forgo some things for the better of the team to create a more cohesive work environment. If all else fails, bringing in a third-party, i.e. human resources or consultant, may help for larger conflict resolution.
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