We're all mad at each other, who isn't? From domestic house to office premises to bus stations, train stations and all other spaces, we always come into conflict with someone.
Either consciously, it's your fault, or passively, which most of the time may not be entirely your fault.
Conflicts will always occur between friends, couples, co-workers, commuters and acquaintances.
There is no way to get through this world without getting into one. In any case. Conflicts sometimes lead to eternal enmity and sometimes conflicts give birth to stronger bonds depending on the willingness of the parties to make amends and move on.
This is because the conflict has shown both sides what the other side accepts and hates. But you know, some people are naturally angry and have no joy and rarely give the same, so moving on can be a difficult task for such a person.
While we can all have meltdowns, should you stay angry and ruin your day in the process Most of us remain in the reactive phase in conflict. Why?
The need for comprehensive explanations to reassure anyone who cares to listen to why you are right and the other side is wrong.
Total waste of time. Like it or not, someone who has decided that they want you in their bad books is all they want, how do you convince such a person to listen to you?
You stay in the reaction stage longer than usual, sulking, complaining, cursing, and doing all forms of activity to process why you're in the situation in the first place.
Yelling at your partner, co-workers or fellow commuters just to prove a point. And what are you trying to prove?
I'm right, you're wrong, or you want an apology from the other side. You stay angry and the moment turns into momentum and you lose your cool.
You subconsciously transfer your aggression to someone who doesn't even know why you're angry.
The problem is that you know how the conflict starts, but you can't end it because you need to be right with an explanation or your own rational view of the situation.
You stay put to rationalize your feelings and it consumes you to the point where you kick yourself and analyze the situation while the other party is no longer even in the background.
By the way, there are no unproblematic conflicts, but your desire for peace should absorb your rationalization of any unfortunate event that angered you and kept you going. There are ways to overcome your feelings and it will help you every step of the way.
How are you doing it? Simply by thinking about solutions before, during and after any conflict.
The reason your feelings override your emotions in this moment of anger is the need to react or respond.
Resolution is the ultimate goal of any conflict. Even in wars, the need to solve the problems that escalated the conflict is paramount to the powers that be, because at the end of the conflict, the solution comes in, why?
Wars cannot go on forever because in the long run neutral parties will be drawn to the detriment of their own citizens.
Billions of dollars will be raised to rebuild destroyed cities and grants will come in to get the economy back on track.
Back to the resolution phase, because it's the final puzzle in the puzzle of any conflict. Even if you are angry, which you have every right to be, why not think of a solution first before it even starts?
Distinctive thinking will help you analyze the situation and you will have the ability to either stay calm or know what to say in the face of any impending danger.
Most of the time our reactions and responses trigger the other party to act irrationally and we take it back and forth until we generate a fracas that makes no sense.
So, as you go about your daily routine, socializing with people you know and don't know, be guided by your calmness and always think solution based thoughts in the face of any impending conflict and avoid any reactivity that might want to cloud your thinking .
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