There are countless songs, poems, and exemplary pieces of literature written on love, its intricacies, and magic. Humans have always perceived love as beautiful, miraculous, and incredible. But finding love is not as easy as it happens in movies. And, in the present scenario, for many people, the number of first dates is equal to the number of dating apps and websites available. But things do not seem to work out. At one point in time, people get bogged down and feel sick of trying. So, why do people struggle, and what are the correct strategies for finding love? We explain below.
Love yourself first
You do not appear like a salesperson while chatting with friends. We all prefer being natural and at ease while exuberating confidence and joy. Thus, people who live a content life are attractive and are more likely to fall in love. When you feel you are the best version of yourself, you do not change your words or behavior to impress a person. By loving yourself, you can prioritize and differentiate between likes and dislikes. You find out things that you miss and strive to fulfill them yourself. You get a job you like, develop a personal style, and enjoy life. These qualities will help you find peace and look natural.
A person loving the stable characteristics in you is more likely to forge a long-lasting relationship with you. Thus, finding someone compatible is easier when you embrace the true self.
Prioritize partnership over attraction
Attraction often becomes the first ingredient when people begin to experience love. But it alone is not sufficient to maintain a long and happy relationship. Check if you have common interests and can share a laugh or two. Find out things you can do together, say cooking, gardening, or social work. It helps in discussing common topics and spending quality time together.
You need to discuss and agree on essentials like family goals, mode of earning and spending money, etc. It is advisable to meet a matchmaker if online dating does not work. There are possibilities that you tend to attract sinful or unavailable people. Also, initial attraction may lead to excessive possessiveness, which is harmful to the relationship.
Be self-aware
As adults, two people cannot live together without experiencing conflicts. Self-awareness is essential to resolving complex situations that life throws at us. It helps you to be aware of all the decisions that you make. You can give a name to the feeling and act accordingly. It is the way to avoid knee-jerk reactions and become empathetic. You know your flaws, triggers, desires, and pleasures. You do not jump to conclusions and can honestly communicate your feelings and opinions. Therefore, practicing self-awareness is the key to a happy relationship.
Be proactive but do not hurry.
Imagine meeting someone whom you think is ‘the special one.’ It does not mean that you have to follow obvious dating advice. Try to nurture a friendship. Pay attention when you converse and be kind when you disagree. Check if you are capable of giving and receiving genuine support. At the same time, being independent and respecting the partner's space and timings is necessary. Communicate your desires honestly and be ready to hear the response.
Do not be afraid
There are chances that your past relationships did not go the way you expected. You could have faced betrayals and rejections. So, though you are ready to commit to a long relationship, you are afraid of getting hurt. Some people fear losing themselves and do not wish to become vulnerable. But finding love is not possible without taking the risk of vulnerability. The best practice is to heal and learn to be happy first.
Do not seek love when you are lonely. Instead, try to foster good friendships. It will boost your self-esteem. One simple hack is to have 'me-time' and engage with all the elements of life.
Learn to share duties right from the beginning
Love is not all about mutual admiration. Doing household chores, paying bills, shopping, etc., are some activities you can share. It instills a sense of responsibility and helps in building trust. Though doing things together is fun, respect the other person's timelines and be ready to divide the work and do it separately. Discuss how things will be in the future, like taking care of kids, etc. But do not have strict conditions and accept that people change over time.
Final Thoughts:
Love in real life does not jump suddenly from the sky. You will have to put in some effort. It is not about seeking love desperately. First, become the best version of yourself. Then get out of your comfort zone, meet people and nurture friendships. Keep in mind that every relationship has its ups and downs. Therefore, one must be kind, empathetic, and honest to build and sustain love.
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