1. Follow the Majority
People tend to believe that something is true because the majority of people think it’s true.
Our brains evolved for the last 200,000 years to aid and protect us. Being part of the herd accomplished that goal.
When we lived in caves, being part of the herd increased our chances of survival and gave us a sense of security. Being alone was risky and exposed us to unnecessary danger.
We do not deal with the same challenges our ancestors dealt with, but we are hardwired to follow the herd and despise anyone leaving the pack.
Society and your brain want you to follow your stone-age tendencies and imitate what others are doing.
Being alone and breaking off the group is not something that society encourages you to do. Individuals who are crazy and brave enough to leave the herd will find themselves isolated from the masses.
If you find yourself alone, and creating work that matters, do not worry — others will join you. Refusing to live an average life goes against our brain hardwiring, biological instincts, and social norms. Do it anyway.
2. You have to obey authority
From a very early age, society has conditioned us not to trust ourselves, not follow our inner voice, and not use our critical thinking. If we attempted to do otherwise, we were told that we would face immense trouble. Hence, instead of creating our path in life and walking on it, we follow a predetermined path that others gave us, whether we like it or not.
We have accepted it, as usual, to believe in what authority tells us blindly. We obey its rules it has forced upon us without stopping for a moment and questions those beliefs to find the truth for ourselves and live the way we want to live and not the way society expects us to live. Not surprisingly, most people can’t think for themselves and don’t take responsibility for their own lives in their hands, which only results in them being victims to the decisions others make for them.
3. Getting married, or at least managing a long-term monogamous relationship
Society implies that good, friendly people have monogamous relationships. Anything else is just a little too sordid. This particularly applies to women. However, there is nothing in our biology that says this is the way we should be. Many other societies now and in the past have had very different ideas about love and sex.
There is nothing morally better about being married or in a long-term relationship. As with all things, it is up to the individual to find a way of living that is right for them.
4. Having children – preferably two
The society also seems to believe that we should all have children, preferably two. This is a ridiculous proposition that acts as if we are all the same person with the same passions and goals and the exact needs and desires.
We are all different and for some people having two children is perfect; others want fifteen, and many choose not to have children. This is a sensible idea in our over-populated planet, and I have no idea why anyone should be criticized or thought less of for this choice.
Again, women bear the brunt of this one. There is a suggestion that not having children or being maternal is unnatural. This is, of course, ridiculous. There are many examples of animal societies and human ones where not every female reproduces.
5. Get Offended
Society is changing, and we are systematically programmed to get offended by everything.
Society expects you to be outraged by anything: Gillette commercial, Nike commercial, political correctness, immigration, automation, artificial intelligence, stem cell research, globalization, Facebook privacy policy, global warming, Kim Kardashian’s wedding, Lebron James decision, Simone Biles, etc.
If you tell your friend that he is wrong about something, he might be offended, and you risk losing him.
We need to stop being offended by everything. We do not choose what other people do or say, but we can decide how to respond.
When we focus on being offended, we stop improving ourselves and start blaming others for our negative thoughts and emotions.
One of the things that I admire about the Stoic philosophy is its approach to control our emotions.
Epictetus once stated, “If someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation.” People are free to say whatever they please; do not get offended, learn to control your emotion, and stop doing what society is training you to do.
I guarantee you that someone will be offended by this post. I do not care.
6. Getting a ‘good education
Now don’t get me wrong, education is an excellent thing. But in our society, this means going to school, college, and university to get degrees and honors. Nothing else will do, despite the financial pressure and debt this often causes.
And to be honest, there are some people for whom this kind of education is just not right. Society believes that only knowledge gained in a classroom is valuable, but this is far from true.
We can learn amazing things by travel and experiences, talking to others, and just trying things out. You don’t need to be educated in a classroom and gain a degree to stand a chance of success and be valued in society. Get your knowledge and wisdom in whichever way is proper for you.
7. Go to College
We have been conditioned to believe that college is a requirement for a good life from an early age.
This thought has been drilled into our brains by our parents and teachers. As a result, society has brainwashed everyone to believe that obtaining a college degree is the only respectful choice after high school.
The school system has one job — to deliver obedient workers, obedient citizens, and obedient realists.
If you want to be an entrepreneur, all of these things will harm your chances. So be a dreamer, dream crazy dreams, and go to work.
Things have changed in the last 30 years: Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Ellen DeGeneres, Mark Zuckerberg, Rachel Ray, and many more dropped out of college to create unique products and change the world. They changed the rules, and they made companies that continue to shape how we live.
If you know what you want to do, and it does not need a degree, do not go to college. Could you do it?
8. You have to earn a lot of money to be successful
In our debt-based economic system, we all need money to cover our basic needs and have the time and resources to pursue those things that bring us fulfillment. Many people, however, mistake the accumulation of financial wealth for a victorious living. They think that for one to be successful, one needs to possess a significant amount of money.
Of course, they are not responsible for that. Since we were school children, most of us have believed that money is the ultimate goal in life — without it, life is meaningless and purposeless, and if we fail to earn a lot of money, then we are, in a sense, failures ourselves.
So we see almost everyone around us striving to earn more and more money. Yet, no matter how much money they make, they still feel sad and empty, not realizing that true success doesn’t come from money but from learning to live in harmony with ourselves and others.
9. You have to be religious to be a good person
Another stupid thing that society expects from you is to be “religious.”
Most people have been taught from their parents, school, and church that to have good morals and act ethically towards their fellow human beings, they need to believe in religion blindly and unquestionably follow its dogmas.
But I am telling you: This is utter horseshit!
To be religiously indoctrinated means to suppress yourself in numerous ways. That’s because following a religious dogma means that you act in specific ways solely because a scripture or an authority figure says so, and not because you genuinely feel like doing so, which has tremendously negative consequences both on your and the world’s well-being.
Firstly, you fill your psyche with self-hatred because when you feel that you are not good enough, how can you love yourself? You can only hate yourself. And when you hate yourself, how can you love others? You can’t, for self-love is the beginning of other love.
In addition, doing certain things just because your religion says so might be tremendously harmful to yourself and those around you, even if you have the best intentions. Indeed, some of the greatest atrocities in human history were committed in the name of religion.
Lastly, yet perhaps most importantly, when you believe that your religion is the only true religion, you start seeing other religions as adverse to yours, and you turn against those who subscribe to them. Therefore, dogmatic religion inevitably breeds hatred and conflict among people.
Having said the above, most of the world’s major religions do have at their core some crucial lessons to teach, so study them and learn what you can from them, but make sure to discard what you feel is not suitable and helpful. Above all, don’t be attached to any ideology, whether religious or otherwise.
10. You have to own a lot of stuff to be happy
When you ask many people what their dreams are in life, often you’ll hear things like “I want to be rich!” or “I want to be famous!”
These beliefs ultimately stem from a very materialistic society. Many people think that if they want to be happy, they must make a lot of money and own many expensive things like big-screen TVs, a lovely house, and an expensive car.
We become so focused on material things that we often forget about other essential values in life such as relationships, health, confidence, and well-being.
Of course, a certain level of security and comfort is necessary for well-being – it’s difficult to find happiness when you are poor or homeless – but psychological research suggests money can only buy us happiness up to a certain point.
Once you have your material needs provided, more stuff isn’t going to make you happier. It may even backfire as you look at everything you own and wonder why life isn’t better.
Our materialistic culture often leads to excessive social comparison and a “keeping up with the Joneses” mentality. We look at our friends and neighbors and compare what they have to what we have. When we don’t measure up, we immediately feel like a failure.
If you want happiness in life, you often have to step out of this materialistic mindset and recognize that there is more to life than money and luxurious things.
This doesn’t mean you have to become a minimalist or go full “Fight Club” and disown everything. Still, you must have a healthy relationship with material things and keep everything in perspective.
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