I have had many problems of trust in my life, all of which I have treated or overcome. I have written about some of these issues below.
1. The Bald Patch
2. My height
3. My weight
4. Stuttering
5. My lack of belief in myself
6. My career
The BALD PATCH
Although for some people it may seem trivial, I was born with a bald patch the size of a piece of ten pence. When I went through childhood and especially in my teenage years, I became increasingly conscious and paranoid.
It was especially notable when it rained or when I was going to swim, since my hair would get wet. The people of the school would ridicule me, and I was always trying to hide and cover the bald patch, even though most people knew it.
It hurt when people laughed at me and finally stopped going completely.
MY HEIGHT
Of all my family and close male friends, I am the shortest at 5 feet 4. This should probably not influence my trust, however, with people continuously looking at me. They have called me many names, the best is "Shorty."
I was always jealous of other people higher than me. I hoped that one day I could have a late stream. This never came.
My height affected me with the sport. I wanted to be a striker in football, however, coaches just wanted people more than 6 feet high. In Snooker, I have to use the rest constantly, which makes it difficult to play at the best standard and in tennis, I was constantly throwing myself. It also meant that I only felt comfortable dating 5 feet 3 and minors, which considerably reduce the available market.
MY WEIGHT
During School, Mayor was very thin. This may have been the result that my parents became vegetarians when I was twelve. At that time, there were very few replacement foods, and it seemed that we went from having meat and two vegetables to only two vegetables.
While my parents cooked the food, I had few options that also to become vegetarian. After a few weeks, I approached them and told them that I lost and wanted to eat meat. They were understood to some extent and said:
"If you want it, you cook it"
At this age, I could only bother to cook a few days a week, and that gradually became less and less.
The people of the school would call me names such as skin and bone, and my weight became another paranoid area for me.
STUTTERING
At the age of four, I developed stuttering. This became gradually worse as I aged, even though my parents were told to grow.
For what fluid people would classify as simple tasks, how to read a book at school, answer questions, say my name and address, order items at the bar or in a restaurant, and talk on the phone became a constant battle.
It was a very frustrating impediment since I seemed to be able to speak quite fluently with the people I knew well and with whom I felt comfortable, but on other occasions, especially under any form of pressure, I could not say a word.
At the age of twenty-two years after about eleven months of hard work and practice, I managed to overcome stuttering and now helped other people who stutter to achieve fluidity and help people with trust problems.
My LACK OF BELIEF
I always had a lack of belief in certain areas.
I would notice a woman in a bar, for example, and want to go and talk to her, but I would have the negative attitude that I am not good enough, why would I be interested in her? Steve, I have a bald patch, I have a servile job, and I am very thin.
Even if I approach her and I succeed, it would be expected to buy a drink, possibly call her, possibly meet her parents, and maybe even married! The idea of trying these things with stuttering and with a lack of social trust was too discouraging for me.
I left school at sixteen, mainly due to the lack of trust and stuttering, but then I had the problem of finding a job. Again, my lack of belief shone. Who would like to use someone with stuttering, who is lacking in confidence, and who is shy with people?
MY CAREER
After leaving school at the age of sixteen, I now had to find a job. Suffering from stuttering and a general lack of trust meant that the work involved on the phone or regular interaction with other people was not an option.
I decided that I could probably face the presentation tasks in an office and finally obtained a position in an insurance company.
I started to the lowest degree, one grade two, and the work was routine and mundane. The average time to remain at this level before being promoted was six months. The third-grade publication involved sharing a phone, and this is something that seemed very difficult for me to use.
To update, he had to apply in writing to the personnel officer and then, if he approved the interview, he was promoted. My attitude was that if I don't apply, I would stay like a degree two, which is what I wanted. He was probably the only person in the country who did not want to be ascended.
My boss asked me at regular intervals why I was not applying and invent an excuse. To keep him happy, I took the insurance exams. After three years, I completed the first qualification, which was a set of five exams. To my horror, my boss congratulated me by stating that he was updating me to a third grade from Monday without the need for an interview.
This promotion should have given me an impulse of trust, however, with my stuttering out of control under pressure and some of my colleagues mocked me more and more used.
They would invite me to a social and invent excuses of why I could not go since they see the hat with the occasion and all the socialization involved.
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