🤣🤣🤣😂😂
Number One:
A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along, and offered her a ride to a nearby town.
She climbed up behind him on the horse, and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a! So loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls.
When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a! and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service-station attendant. Nothing, the woman answered, "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn, so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."
S-mile 😊😁
Number Two:
I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM TRACTOR SUPPLY..
Yesterday I was at my local TSC store buying a large bag of my dog's food for my loyal livestock guard dog and was in the checkout, when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 pounds before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the curb to sniff an Irish Setter's rear end and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Tractor Supply.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of things to say.
S-mile 😊😁
Number Three:
A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a toddler-aged girl in her shopping trolley. As they passed the biscuit section, the little girl asked for biscuits and her mother told her no. The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly: “Now Monica, we just have half of the aisles left to go through – don’t be upset. It won’t be long.”
Soon, they came to the sweets aisle and the little girl began to shout for chocolate. When told she couldn’t have any, she began to cry.
The mother said softly: “There, there, Monica, don’t cry – only two more aisles to go and then we’ll be checking out.”
When they got to the checkout stand, the little girl immediately began to clamour for lollipops and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there’d be none purchased. The mother patiently said: “Monica, we’ll be through this checkout stand in five minutes and then you can go home and have a nice nap.”
The man was very impressed with the woman’s handling of the situations and followed them out to the car park and stopped her to compliment her, “I couldn’t help noticing how patient you were with little Monica,” he began.
The mother sighed and replied: “Oh, no. My little girl’s name is Tammy… I’m Monica.”
End ❤️❤️
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