Top 2 meditation exercises suitable for a special parent

Meditation has been studied to promote well-being. Although different mediation methods are usually based on oriental philosophies, they have also become a popular pastime in the 21st century in Western countries. Here are two exercises that I believe will be especially helpful for parents and especially special parents (and really for all of humanity).

Meditation has been practiced in the East for millennia, and the Zen Buddhist mediation tradition, for example, has had its own practitioners in the West for decades. But especially now that someone came up with a way to commercialize mediation, call it mindfulness, and reap the salty price of teaching it, it’s become a downright hit!

Personally, I’m not so grounded in that commercial meditation hype, though I like it that people are looking for a balance of mind through mediation. What bothers me more is that mediation is being sold to people in terms of the results and benefits it produces. "Just 15 minutes a day and you'll see results in a week." Meditation has been made an exercise that is purposeful and aimed at practical benefits in life.

Personally, I once embraced the idea of meditation in a traditional Zen Buddhist school as an exercise that is important in itself. So what matters is not the benefits it produces, but the exercise itself. For me, meditation is a way to break free from the cultural shackles that force me to think all the time in a goal-oriented, self-centered way and emphasize the benefits of all activities. The fact that meditation reduces stress and anxiety and increases well-being and happiness is a nice by-product.

Whether you approach meditation either my way or the Western way, emphasizing the benefits, I still recommend trying the following two exercises, which I have personally found to be important and, well, also useful.

Exercise 1: Metta Meditation

Metta meditation is often translated into loving-kindness. The idea of meditation is to develop a loving and kind attitude first towards yourself and finally towards all living beings. There is a wise idea in the exercise that you must first learn to accept yourself before you can focus on others.

The meta-exercise is five-part, but you can focus on only one part. The exercise develops a friendly attitude in the following order:

Towards a self
Towards a person close to oneself
Towards a neutral person
Towards a person who is unpleasant/disgusting to himself
Towards all living beings

Before starting the exercise, it is advisable to look for a calm state, take an upright but relaxed position and focus well on the exercise. Then just go through each step (or selected steps) by repeating appropriate words that exude kindness.

Example:

“I hope I’m doing well. I hope I am happy. I hope I don’t suffer… ”

“I hope he’s doing well. I hope she is happy. I hope he doesn't suffer… ” and so on.

Exercise 2: Zazen (Shikantaza)

Zazen is a Zen Buddhist sitting meditation with slightly different forms and implementations depending on the school. My personal favorite is the Shikantaza exercise, which, as the name implies, means just sitting down. The purpose of the exercise is to try to focus on not focusing on anything.

In the exercise, you sit upright with your legs crossed and your palms on your lap, staring at the wall with your eyes slightly open. The exercise does not aim for anything, it does not aim for any goal. The idea is to let thoughts flow without us sticking to them at all. There are often a lot of thoughts at first, but the intention is to let them calm down on their own. If we don’t start biting our thoughts, they will disappear by themselves.

Eventually, it is possible to reach a state where there are no thoughts. There is only presence and sitting. In practice, you can free yourself from even the hardest things on your mind, and that’s why it does so well. Committed practice even fundamentally shapes the way we see ourselves and the world.

Exercise can feel difficult at first and is an achievement for the first time if you can focus on it for a couple of minutes. However, regular training quickly improves your ability to sit and concentrate, making you enjoy your workout for longer.

And for those who missed the benefits of meditation: give it a try and you’ll see results in just a few days!