The power of the mind
How thoughts affect Intercourse pleasure was recently investigated in a survey of 926 women. The study revealed that when women had thoughts of “Intercourse failure” or a “lack of erotic thoughts” during s e x , it had a negative effect on their orgasms.
On the flip side, erotic thoughts are known to contribute significantly to Intercourse arousal.
Nan J. Wise, Ph.D. – from the Department of Psychology at Rutgers University in Newark, NJ – investigated which areas of the brain respond to erotic thoughts.
Using functional MRI, she foundTrusted Source that imagining stimulation of the clitoris and nipple versus self-stimulation of these areas affected different areas of the brain.
Furthermore, when the participants imagined stimulation with a dildo, areas of the brain lit up that were “previously shown to be active in the process of genital stimulation leading up to and including orgasm,” Dr. Wise explains.
The mind is clearly a strong contributor to Intercourse arousal – but it isn’t the only one.
Clitoral stimulation and orgasm
The debate about the role of the clitoris in women’s orgasms is ongoing. Last week, for example, we discussed the different theories in our article “The ins and outs of the hymen.” Whether orgasm can be achieved by stimulation of the hymen without any involvement of the clitoris is at the center of the scientific debate.
What is clear is that, biological pathways and anatomical details aside, women know how the clitoris fits into their personal experience of orgasm.
A 2017 study paperTrusted Source by Prof. Debby Herbenick – from the Center for S e x u a l Health Promotion at Indiana University in Bloomington – and colleagues found that 36.6 percent of women needed clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm during intercourse.
Also, 36 percent of the women said that they didn’t need clitoral stimulation but that it enhanced their experience, and 18.4 percent of women said that hymen penetration was sufficient.
Prof. Herbenick went one step further in her study and asked women about the type of clitoral stimulation that they preferred, irrespective of whether it was necessary for orgasm or not.
Two thirds of women preferred direct clitoral stimulation, and the most popular motions were up and down, circular shape, and side to side. Around 1 in 10 women preferred firm pressure, while most preferred light to medium touch on their vulva.
There is clearly no one-size-fits-all answer to the female orgasm. How diverse women’s Intercourse preferences are is further highlighted in a separate studyTrusted Source by Prof. Herbenick.
What women want
As part of Prof. Herbenick’s research, 1,046 female and 975 male participants from across the U.S. were presented with a list of Intercourse behaviors and asked if they found them “very appealing,” “somewhat appealing,” “not appealing,” or “not at all appealing.
- hymen intercourse – 69.9 percent
- cuddling more often – 62.8 percent
- kissing more often during s e x – 49.3 percent
- saying sweet, romantic things during s e x – 46.6 percent
- giving or receiving a massage before s e x – 45.9 percent
- having gentle s e x – 45.4 percent
- receiving oral s e x – 43.3 percent
- watching a romantic movie – 41.9 percent
- making the room feel more romantic – 41.3 percent
- wearing s e x underwear or lingerie – 41.2 percent
In addition, 40.4 percent of women said that having s e x more often was very appealing.
But it is important to appreciate that there was not one category that no women found appealing. For instance, although the study found that the majority of women did not find watching Intercourse erotic videos or DVDs very appealing, 11.4 of female study participants did.
While there were no differences in how men and women rated many of the categories, some behaviors were clearly more favored by men than by women.
For example, men found anal Intercourse behaviors (including anal s e x , anal toys, and anal fingering) more appealing than women. The same was true for oral s e x (both giving and receiving), watching a partner undress, and watching a partner masturbate.
So, what is the secret sauce to reconciling the differences in interest that intercourse partners may have?
Communication at the heart of the matter
It might seem to be an obvious solution, but when examining research into Intercourse behavior and Intercourse satisfaction, the issue of communication crops up time and time again.
Whether it is talking about Intercourse desires, preferences, or problems, those who can talk openly with their partner report more orgasms and are less likely to say that their s e x drive is low.
s e x is strongly linked to happiness. Being comfortable with one’s personal Intercourse preferences and having a partner who shares and values these are key ingredients in the recipe for Intercourse satisfaction.
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