Having one child is a hobby and more than one parenting! You all must have heard this statement. I am a mother of an only child and I strongly disagree with this statement. It is distressing the way people categorize as the mother of a single child and mother of multiple children. Why not, we can just call her a ‘mother’?
A mother of a single child is no lesser than the mother of multiple kids. She has gone through equal pain, struggles, highs, and lows that other mothers go through. Our society typically seems to think that having multiple children and managing it all is the mark of a super mom. But it doesn’t take six children, dinner on the table every night, and homeschooling them all to be super-mom. I am so very tired of hearing how difficult it is to have multiple kids.
Because in the end, motherhood truly is hard, no matter how many children. There should be no judgment of the woman who has one child.
Regrettably, our society has stereotyped mothers with multiple children as true mothers. In fact, I researched and experienced that only child mothers go through more pressure, and continuously their minds are in the state of consciousness due to various reasons; societal pressure of having a single child remains in the back of her mind. Social taboos, such as the child grows anti-social, faces behavior issues, is less competent, has lingual problems, etc. make mother anxious and affects her mental well-being.
In contrast, singletons are more advantageous compared to second onward who have two or more siblings on educational expectations and grades. Singletons also spend more time on self assignments. For psychosocial outcomes (psychological distress, vulnerability to negative peer pressure, and problem behaviors), singletons are not different from both firstborns and later born, with any number of siblings. The findings suggest that singletons are not at any disadvantage compared to their peers who have 'siblings' and they enjoy some advantages over later born, from medium to large families on academic-related outcomes.
The US Census of 2008 showed that 20% of American families had only one child. With a societal trend towards increasingly smaller families, the proportion of singletons has been growing in America. This is partly due to people getting married and having children at a later age, along with more serious concerns for family’s financial situations.
Studies to date have not provided support for the unfavorable depictions of only children. Indeed, the studies have proven only children are either about the same or more advantageous than children who have siblings. Compared to children from medium and large families, singletons have reportedly scored higher in school performance and had higher achievement motivation, higher self-esteem, and higher abilities, especially in verbal skills. Studies have not found significant differences between only children and those who have siblings in the domains of adjustment and sociability. Singletons are more common in China due to the Chinese government’s enforcement of one-child policy. Studies of only children in China have reported that they do better than those who have siblings in academic performance, educational expectations, association with conventional peers, and psychological and behavioral adjustments.
We all have experienced the pandemic now, and who knows when all this is going to get over. Many abnormal things have normalized post-pandemic. It is agitating to hear and see society cataloging mothers. Every mother goes through the same, no one knows why she chooses a singleton child; maybe by choice or by destiny. Respect and love to all mothers. Singleton mothers are no less than a mother.
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