A father's love contributes as much and sometimes more to a child's development as does a mother's love. That is one of many findings in a new large-scale analysis of research about the power of parental rejection and acceptance in shaping our personalities as children and into adulthood.
"In our half-century of international research, we've not found any other class of experience that has as strong and consistent effect on personality and personality development as does the experience of rejection, especially by parents in childhood, says Ronald of the University of Connecticut, co-author of the new study in Personality and Social Psychology Review. Children and adults everywhere -- regardless of differences in race, culture, and gender -- tend to respond in exactly the same way when they perceived themselves to be rejected by their caregivers and other attachment figures
Looking at 36 studies from around the world that together involved more than 10,000 participants, Ronald and co-author Abdul found that in response to rejection by their parents, children tend to feel more anxious and insecure, as well as more hostile and aggressive toward others. The pain of rejection -- especially when it occurs over a period of time in childhood -- tends to linger into adulthood, making it more difficult for adults who were rejected as children to form secure and trusting relationships with their intimate partners. The studies are based on surveys of children and adults about their parents' degree of acceptance or rejection during their childhood, coupled with questions about their personality dispositions.
Moreover, Ronald says, emerging evidence from the past decade of research in psychology and neuroscience is revealing that the same parts of the brain are activated when people feel rejected as are activated when they experience physical pain.
One important take-home message from all this research, Ronald says, is that fatherly love is critical to a person's development. The importance of a father's love should help motivate many men to become more involved in nurturing child care. Additionally, he says, widespread recognition of the influence of fathers on their children's personality development should help reduce the incidence of "mother blaming" common in schools and clinical setting. "The great emphasis on mothers and mothering in America has led to an inappropriate tendency to blame mothers for children's behavior problems and maladjustment when, in fact, fathers are often more implicated than mothers in the development of problems such as these.
Dad Quotes to Share
Dads are the best, so share your feelings about him with the world.
- "Fathers are the first friend you make and the last love of your life."
- "A dad is more than just the sum of his parts. He is the very soul of the family."
- "Fathers are patient, kind, and loving. You are all of these and more to me!"
- "A dad is the anchor upon which his children stand."
- "Fathers are men who dared to place the world's hopes and dreams in their children."
- "The value of a loving father has no price."
- "When a father speaks, may his children hear the love in his voice above all else."
- "Dads share wisdom with their children in the hopes they spread it throughout the world."
- "A dad is half of you, so he knows you better than you might even know yourself. Rely on his wisdom in life."
- "Even the best dads make mistakes. But there is no mistaking their love for their children."
- "A father's love is eternal and without end."
- "The best parts of your father are the best parts of you. Never forget where you came from."
- "Thank heaven for the special relationship between fathers and daughters. It is blessed from above."
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