There is no flawless life or human beings. But, if it becomes too much, it will spoil our peace of mind. To put it mildly, is to express your opinion about what is not right or unsatisfactory for you. Deficiency can manifest in varying degrees, such as muttering, lamenting, asking for reconsideration, objecting, or criticizing. All of these words express the basic tone of the negative. Anyway, Between blaming for the right reason and becoming addicted to the habit, we have to draw a line from the beginning. The former is to express reasonable opposition to any wrongdoing. For example, if you have been unfairly charged with a traffic offense, you have every right to report that complaint. The second type is how life has treated you unfairly, or how every person around you is willing to exploit you unnecessarily. It involves constantly talking about blaming someone or something for your current situation.
Experts warn that if your complacency changes your nature, you may be affected in more than one way. "Criticism, in that particular case, seems to be an almost natural reaction; they do not go according to our expectations or preferences. If this attitude is temporary,"Dr. Sanjay Cork, Adviser, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, Forties Hospital, Kolkata, said," If the tendency to complain is frequent or prolonged, it will start to mix with our overall well-being and have a detrimental effect. "
Why do we complain?
In general, complaining is considered a natural means of coping. One begins to complain when his environment is beyond his control. “Grief and guilt are, because many of us grew up in a daily routine environment, We take this as a natural way to live life. ” Says Vaibhav Dada, a Mumbai-based midlife coach and teacher of Simple Your Life (Make Your Life Easier). Besides, Dada says there is also a sense of belonging to the victims. In it, they talk about how good they are and how bad others treat them. As a result, one tries to gain sympathy by complaining. From another angle, Blaming can be considered a form of self-defense, but it is a weak one. It's hard for most of us to admit that something is wrong with us; criticism is a good reason to explain that we are not wrong, says Dr. Cork.
How Does Criticism Affect Us?
The consequences of complaining are manifold. It affects our mental and physical well-being. There may be some other vulnerabilities as well. Let’s see how it destroys our happiness by constantly complaining. It destroys our relationships: it can affect not only our romantic relationships, but also our daily relationships with those around us. Riga Charon, an IT consultant from Bangalore, has been suffering from a series of depression. He said, “I was isolated. Then I lost my job and became very depressed. During that dark period, I discovered the mistakes I had made. I came blaming others for my problems and difficulties. The first impact was a rift in my relationship with my life-partner. I complained about him; He did not care about me; I have resolved to lament that I did not pay attention But, really, he has lived for me. Has tried to do many favors for me. I just could not realize it then. ”
It causes stress: It's a kind of bad cycle that leads to depression, and experts say that criticism can cause stress. Every drop may be a reminder of every unpleasant, bad situation we have experienced. Needless to say, when we eat with such confidence, it affects our work and our lives.
It worsens health: The tendency to criticize also affects our health. Research shows that it affects the brain in particular. Among others, a 2016 study by Stanford University found that people with dementia were affected by the hippocampus, a part of the brain associated with memory and learning. Our mind and body are closely related. Our body, only up to a certain level, can absorb stress. When we cross that line, we really start to feel physical pain, Dada said. "We suffer from fatigue and even lose interest in the simple pleasures of life," he says
How to stop complaining?
There really is a part of this that is a little complicated, with no quick fix. To overcome this, experts say the following news may help. Let's see about them.
Be thankful:Gratitude is considered one of the cures for this. A study from the University of California, Berkeley, shows that people who develop a grateful mind are less prone to stress due to lower levels of the stress hormone-cortisol. So, start saying thank you for everything you have or have available to you.
Focus on the solution: you to the problem You are in. You forget that the solution to the problem is needed. Try and stop the process that is causing the problem. Start thinking about how you can get out of a tight situation or what your next step will be.
Do not accept failure: "When we begin to complain, we adopt a self-defeating attitude by implicitly telling ourselves that we can do nothing in this situation," says Dr. Cork.
Enough is enough: you have to say the following out loud over and over again, Dada says, “I have worked hard enough. Now I decide to change it. ” This is a kind of positive commitment. This will motivate you to make an effective change. On the whole, stop complaining, create an environment of self-interest and be happy.
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