How to say “No”?
I happen to be this type who always finds it hard to turn down someone who asks for my help. How many people will think what’s bad in it, because it’s a good habit? In this context, I would say, this is something which will give you trouble and stress in the future.
I can’t even think about saying “no”. When asked for help, some people like me say “yes” as an instinct. But, in this business world, saying “yes” will lead to your exploitation.
My fear of not saying “no” are:
· Fear of a relationship will come at risk – I don’t want to jeopardize your relationship. I fear, if I say no to any help to my known person then he or she might feel bad and my relationship with the person will be in danger.
· I feel guilty – In very rare cases when I have no option left, then to say no. I feel guilty and get sleepless nights and can’t face that person. I feel uncomfortable because I don’t want to hurt their feelings.
Result of not saying “no”
· Bad Relationship
· Anxiety
· Stress
· Depression
· Fear of conflict
Solution
· Keep in mind that you are saying “no” to the request, not the person. You’re not rejecting the person. You’re just declining his invitation. So, let him know what respect about him, you have, and then say politely “no”.
· Explain to the person why you’re saying “no”, very politely.
· The most important thing, which proved to be most effective for me, was to practice saying “no” beginning with small things in my daily life.
· I know it's very difficult to say “no”, because I have suffered this, so we have to gather the courage to say “no”.
· Create personal boundaries for yourself based on what is important to you, then commit to sticking with them.
I know saying “no” is not a good thing if it’s a form of self-sacrifice that takes you further and further away from knowing what you want.
How to politely say "no" :
- If you have a problem in saying no, then say politely "I'm honored, but I can't".
- You can also say, Unfortunately, now isn't a good time.
- No, thank you, but it sounds lovely, so next time.
Here are some day-to-day examples where we face problems in saying "no".
Understand peoples' tactics
Many people and organizations use manipulation techniques, whether knowingly or not For example, if somebody asks for a donation or charity, they put some options: Would you like to donate Rupees 500, Rupees 1000, or any amount? Another tactic: Most people donate Rupees 100 - how much would you like to donate?. This relies on social pressure.
Be firm
If someone can't accept your "no", then you know the person is probably not a true friend or doesn't respect you. Stand firm, and, don't feel compelled to give in just because that person is uncomfortable.
Be Selfish
Put your needs first. Not those of the person asking you for something. If you prioritize that person's need over yours, you will find your productivity will suffer and resentment will mount.
By all means, shower the other person with your appreciation, but, still, stand firm.
Expressing your gratitude.
- Thank you for thinking of me!
- I am honored!
- I greatly appreciate you asking.
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