Learn How To Love Yourself

I'm sure you've read this sentence many times: You must love yourself first. But what does that mean? Is it about having hot chocolate when you're cold? Is it about getting you a new dress when you feel up to it? Does it do what you want it to do when you want it to do it? Is it about wearing warm clothes when it's freezing outside? Loving yourself means learning to treat yourself as a loving parent would treat their child. When you are an adult, and I assume you are, you still have the Inner Child within you. These are your emotions. At this level you still react like a 3-4 year old. Your emotions cannot grow old or mature. But you can grow up. You can learn how to respect them and how to treat them. You can learn how to take care of this Inner Child. When you are not aware of your Inner Child, you try to live in the adult world like a four-year-old boy or girl. You feel all alone, afraid of the big ugly world outside, don't know what to do, where to ask for help, how to protect you. This is a very difficult way. You will always have fear, fear, doubt, fatigue. It's hard trying to survive as a child in an adult world. Most of the time you will feel angry and scared and lost. why is that? Because no one cares about that Little Child in you. Let's say your name is Charlotte. You are 42 years old. Little Charlotte lives inside you. She is four. When you are busy in the outside world taking care of other people, doing business, moving around, doing a thousand things every day, little Charlotte will feel neglected. When you are constantly running around helping others to make sure their needs are met, you will be exhausted and crying in your bed every night. Sometimes you throw tantrums. You will feel very angry for no reason (but there is still one, big one!). All these big emotions are your Inner Child's attempts to get your attention. Imagine that, in addition to your children, husband, colleagues, parents, friends, you also have a little four-year-old girl named Charlotte. No one will ever notice her. No one cares about her. Whenever she tries to say something and get some attention, you yell at her, "Shut up!". You say, "I have to take care of my parents, work, husband, paperwork, friends, other children, the house... I don't have time for you!" How do you think he will feel? What do you think he will do? First, he will try to get your attention by showing a lot of emotion. He will cry a lot, scream and shout, maybe be aggressive from time to time. You think you are angry with the outside world, but it is your inner child who is angry with YOU! She is sad and angry because you don't care about her! You act like she doesn't exist! There is nothing worse than acting as if our Inner Child does not exist. This means trying to live as if WE do not exist. The worst feeling in the world is being unfaithful to yourself. Nothing is worse than this! How many times have we ignored what we felt to please someone else. How many times have we told our Inner Child, "Shut up, you're not important, the other person is more important than you, go away, I don't want to hear you, I don't want to see you"? terrible, right? And we do it every time we let the other person's wishes come before our own. This little Charlotte inside, what will she do? He gives up after a while. After a long time of trying to show her emotions, she gives up. She will be very tired of it all and say, "It doesn't matter, she doesn't love me, she doesn't want to take care of me, I'm not worth it" and she will get Of course you will think that you will become depressed because of others, because of your work, because of your children , because of your spouse or parents. It's nobody's fault. But you have to learn how to care for this Inner Child who suffers from your lack of attention towards her. When things still don't change after falling into depression, there's one weapon left to grab your attention: baby Charlotte gets sick. Or she will have an accident. Maybe this way, the grown-up Charlotte will finally learn to pay attention to her Inner Child, which is just as real (if not more so) as a real child of flesh and blood. You need to learn how to be a loving parent to yourself. What does it mean? First you must develop the Inner Mother. If you were lucky enough to have a loving and caring mother, you can take her as an example. Otherwise you have to invent, create this Inner Mother that is your feminine nurturing energy. Every time you have an emotion, your inner mother should ask your inner child, “What's going on, dear? Listen to what your Inner Child is saying. Then continue the dialogue. The inner mother says, “Come here. Come into my arms, I love you just the way you are. I love you with what you feel." When you do this, the weight of emotions will decrease to a great extent. Then you say these words: "I understand". These words are very important because most of the time we don't feel very "normal" with the feelings we have and we try to ignore or suppress them, which makes them harder. "I understand darling, come here in your mother's arms, I love you." Stay with these words and feelings for a moment and then ask, "What do you need?" Whatever the child answers, you say, "That's what we will ask your Father for." And here begins the task of your Inner Father, who is there to protect you and act for you in the outer world. You would never send a four-year-old child to ask for a raise at work or resolve a conflict at school or with the neighbors, would you? So why are you trying? Send your Inner Father to take care of whatever you need to do in the outer world. Your Inner Father is your masculine energy that allows you to make decisions, take action, follow your inner guidance (found in your Inner Child, also called Intuition) and manifest your Child's desires in the world. When your child has a need, for example to call someone or go somewhere to arrange something, imagine that your inner child stays at home with his mother who takes care of his feelings ("I understand that you are afraid...") and that your Inner Father ( another part of your being) goes out to act. Your inner father is the part of you that is able to handle stress, take action, manage conflict, and all the other things that have to do with the outside world. If this part is missing because you didn't have a good model yourself when you were little, you'll have to create and develop one yourself. Of course, your Inner Child, Mother and Father are part of you. It's all you. It's just a model for understanding what's going on inside you and how you can learn to love yourself. Loving yourself means listening to your Inner Child, taking their emotions seriously, understanding what they feel and acting in the desired direction. Loving yourself means having this dialogue with yourself every morning when you open yours eyes, every night when you go to sleep and every time you have an emotion. Loving yourself is building a strong inner connection with yourself. It is creating your own loving family, within you. You will never feel alone again. You are already three! Call it your Trinity. Wherever you go, from now on you will go with your Inner Family. You are not alone. You are loved and protected. You are listening to yourself and caring for that precious little Child who has been waiting so long to receive your attention and love.