🤣 🤣
A Solicitor parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues.
As he's getting out of the car, a truck comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before zooming off.
More than a little distraught, the Solicitor grabs his mobile and calls the police.
Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman has a chance to ask any questions, the man starts screaming hysterically: 'My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long it's at the panel beaters it'll simply never be the same again!'
After the man finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust.
'I can't believe how materialistic you bloody Solicitors are,' he says. 'You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life.'
'How can you say such a thing at a time like this?' sobs the Porsche owner.
The policeman replies, 'Didn't you realise that your arm was torn off when the truck hit you.'
The Solicitor looks down in horror. 'FECKING HELL!' he screams........'Where's my Rolex????...
Second 🥈 joke......
Old and still lit 🤣🤣
An elderly woman was walking her dog one evening when a young man ran by her and grabbed her purse and took off, a couple across the street ran over to check on her saying the police were called and would be here in a few minutes, the woman smiles and tells the couple that its really no big deal,she carries her old purse to put her dog's poop in it until she gets home to dispose it..imagine the surprise when the thief opens the purse🤪
❤️❤️ End ❤️❤️
😂🤣😂
A farmer had 5 female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell
them.
At the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male pigs.
After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50.
The farmers lived sixty miles apart, so they agreed to drive thirty miles each and find a field in which to let the pigs mate.
The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 A.M., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, (which was the only vehicle he had) and drove the thirty miles.
While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know if they are pregnant?"
The other farmer replied, "If they're lying in the grass tomorrow morning, They're pregnant. If they're in the mud, they're not."
The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud, so he hosed them off, loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try again.
This continued each morning for more than a week and both farmers were worn out.
The next morning he was too tired to get out of bed.
He called to his wife, "Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass."
"Neither," yelled his wife, "they're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn."
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