I have had many self-esteem problems in my life, all of which I have faced or overcome. I have written about some of these stories below.
1. Bald Patch
2. My height
3. My weight
4. Stuttering
5. My lack of faith in me
6. My job
BALDNESS
Although it may seem trivial to some, I was born bald for ten cents. As I got older and especially in my youth I started to feel worthless and confused.
It was most noticeable when it rained or I would go swimming as my hair got wet. At school they made fun of me and tried to hide my head, even though most of them knew it.
It hurt when people laughed at me and finally stopped swimming.
MY FAR
Of all my close male family and friends, I am 5ft shorter. I was called by many names, sweet "Shorty".
I was always jealous of other people who were taller than me. I hoped that one day I might be late. This never came.
My height has touched me in sports. I wanted to be a striker in football but the coaches only wanted people over 6ft tall. In snooker I have to constantly use the rest which makes it difficult to play at a high level and in tennis I was always cheated. It also meant that I felt comfortable only dating women 5ft 3 and under which reduces the market significantly.
MY WEIGHT
When I was in high school I was very thin. This may have been the result of my parents' change of vegetarian diet when I was a teenager. At that time the changing diet was very limited and seemed to go from meat and vegetables to only two sports.
While my parents were cooking, I had no choice but to change the vegetables. A few weeks later I went to them and told them that I missed them and wanted to eat meat. They understand to some extent and say:
“If you want it, you cook it”
Over the years I have not been able to cook well for a few days a week and little by little.
At school people called me names like skin and bone and my weight became another cruelty to me.
NATIONAL
When I was four years old I had a tongue. This gradually got worse as I got older although my parents were told I would get out of it.
What skilled people can do such as doing simple things like reading a book at school, answering questions, saying my name and address, ordering things at a bar or restaurant, and talking on the phone became a never-ending battle.
It was a very frustrating obstacle, as I seemed to be able to communicate fluently with people I knew well and with whom I felt comfortable, but sometimes especially under any form of pressure I could not say anything.
At 22 years of age after 11 months of hard work and exercise I was able to overcome my shortcomings and now help other stutterers to learn better and help people with low self-esteem problems.
MY UNBELIEF
I was always lacking in faith in some places.
I see a woman at a bar I wish I could talk to but I have a bad attitude that I am not good, why would she like me? I'm stuttering, bald, careless, and extremely thin.
Or I can go to her and be successful, still waiting to buy her a drink, maybe call her, maybe meet her parents, maybe even get married! The thought of trying to do these things without confidence in the community did not discourage me.
I left school at the age of sixteen mainly due to insecurity and stuttering, but I had trouble finding a job. My lack of faith also became apparent. Who would want to date a person who is rude, insecure, and timid?
MY JOB
After finishing school at the age of sixteen I now had to find a job. Suffering and stuttering and general lack of confidence meant that a job involving driving or talking to other people was not really an option.
I decided that it would be best for me to apply for a job at an office, and I eventually got a job with an insurance company.
I started in the lowest grade, the second and the work was normal and normal. The average time to stay at this level before being promoted was six months. The third grade post involved phone sharing and this is something I found very difficult to use.
To be promoted you must apply in writing to your supervisor and if you pass the interview you will be promoted. My attitude was that if I did not apply I would always be in second grade, which is what I wanted. I was probably the only person in the world who did not want to be promoted.
My supervisor would occasionally ask me why I was not applying and making excuses. To keep her happy I took insurance tests. Three years later I had just finished my first degree, which was a set of five tests. To my great surprise my supervisor congratulated me on raising me in third grade from Monday without the need for an interview.
This promotion should actually give me a sense of confidence even though my stuttering was uncontrollable under pressure and some colleagues were making fun of me and I was very withdrawn and depressed.
I was invited to parties and made excuses as to why I could not go as I did not believe I could handle the event and all the entertainment involved.
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