How to teach your children

Raising Children Network Search Search the site Search pregnancy & grown-ups babies & children teens autism & disability BEHAVIOUR MANAGEMENT TIPS & TOOLS Suitable for 1-8 years New skills for children: behaviour management strategy SHARE 1.0k Found this helpful Key points Challenging behaviour often happens when children can’t do what you want or need them to do. New skills can encourage good behaviour in children. You can help children learn new skills with modelling, instructions and step-by-step guidance. Practice, repetition, praise and encouragement are key to learning new skills. On this page: Helping children learn new skills as part of behaviour management Modelling Instructions Step-by-step guidance: breaking down tasks Tips to help children learn new skills Helping children learn new skills as part of behaviour management When children can do the things they want or need to do, they’re more likely to cooperate. They’re also less likely to get frustrated and behave in challenging ways. This means that helping children learn new skills can be an important part of managing behaviour. When children learn new skills, they also build independence, confidence and self-esteem. So helping children learn new skills can be an important part of supporting overall development too. Here’s an example: if your child doesn’t know how to set the table, they might refuse to do it – because they can’t do it. But if you show your child how to set the table, they’re more likely to do it. They’ll also get a sense of achievement and feel good about helping to get your family meal ready. There are 3 key ways you can help children learn everything from basic self-care to more complicated social skills: modelling instructions step by step. Remember that skills take time to develop, and practice is important. But if you have any concerns about your child’s behaviour, development or ability to learn new skills, see your GP or your child and family health nurse. When you’re helping your child learn a skill, you can use more than one teaching method at a time. For example, your child might find it easier to understand instructions if you also break down the skill or task into steps. Likewise, modelling might work better if you give instructions at the same time. Modelling Through watching you, your child learns what to do and how to do it. When this happens, you’re ‘modelling’. Modelling is usually the most efficient way to help children learn a new skill. For example, you’re more likely to show rather than tell your child how to make a bed, sweep a floor or throw a ball. Modelling can work for social skills. Prompting your child with phrases like ‘Thank you, Mum’, or ‘More please, Dad’ is an example of this. You can also use modelling to show your child skills and behaviour that involve non-verbal communication, like body language and tone of voice. For example, you can show how you turn to face people when you talk to them, or look them in the eyes and smile when you thank them. Children also learn by watching other children. For example, your child might try new foods with other children at preschool even though they might not do this at home with you. How to make modelling work well Get your child’s attention, and make sure your child is looking at you. Move slowly through the steps of the skill so that your child can clearly see what you’re doing. Point out the important parts of what you’re doing – for example, ‘See how I am …’. You might want to do this later if you’re modelling social skills like greeting a guest. Give your child plenty of opportunities to practise the skill once they’ve seen you do it – for example, ‘OK, now you have a go’. Instructions You can help your child learn how to do something by explaining what to do or how to do it. How to give good instructions Give instructions only when you have your child’s attention. Use your child’s name and encourage your child to look at you while you speak. Get down to your child’s physical level to speak. Remove any background distractions like the TV. Use language that your child understands. Keep your sentences short and simple. Use a clear, calm voice. Use gestures to emphasise things that you want your child to notice. Gradually phase out your instructions and reminders as your child gets better at remembering how to do the skill or task