Through we were raised the hard way, as a parent now, we try to handle kids differently. But sometimes we do the same mistakes as our parents.
Is it the right way to bring up a child?
How should we nurture our kids?
The things that we feed our mind might become our characteristics with time. Which few kids will be able to overcome, but few kids cannot!
Even when two kids grow up in the same environment, they are not the same. Few kids can handle the situation and overcome any such hurdles in life without getting mentally affected. And there are also kids who get mentally affected for even small issues in life.
Parenting:-
Parenting is an art, we have very little knowledge about that hence, we end up repeating the same mistakes for generations.
What are the dos and don’ts of parenting?
Our ancestors afford to worry about parenting, as they had a bunch of kids.
Tactics to handle kids:-
The first thing, they talk about feelings. We tend to ignore or discourage the feelings of our kids and question their emotions. We don’t avoid the kid’s feelings; respecting the feelings is the key to win kid’s heart.
When a kid comes to you with a problem, listen to it carefully. Help them by identifying their emotion and then try to console them. Convey to them that you will do your best to solve their problems, give a solution in a gentle way so that your kid understands it.
This would help the kid understand the situation, and it will calm their mind. Even as an adult, we feel less stressed, when we have someone who could listen to our problems.
We don’t always look for solutions in life, but we crave for someone, who would empathize with us. It’s the same for kids! Always find alternate ways to help the kids to vent out their negative emotions, like anger by using punching bags, which helps in channelizing their energy. And with practice, the kids might feel good.
Also, asking the kid to draw the problem would help them to shape their emotion! As the kids have no knowledge, most kids cannot explain how they feel, but they could talk about it if we teach them to express. Whenever the kid approaches with certain emotions, acknowledge and teach them that it is common to feel that way.
When kids throw tantrums asking for certain things, we need not buy it always, but trying to understand their wish is important.
Spend time:-
Talk to the kids about their wishes. It would help them feel that their wishes are valued. Maintaining an image is a pressure for both the kids and the parents, but talking with the kids about our wishes does help maintain a healthy relationship!
Let your kids about your negative feelings too. It will help them identify and handle the negative emotions on their own. Instead of showing the frustrations at kids, letting them know how you feel, might actually help you feel better.
Most kids won’t act as we expect, but how to make them co-operate?
• Don’t accuse them; instead tell them what’s bothering you. When you do so, the kid will acknowledge it.
• Informing them without accusing them would make them understand better.
• Calling out their name to accuse would make them feel worse. Instead, just mention what’s bothering you without accusing the kid.
• Try to convey what is bothering you in a single word. It is common to feel disappointment or anger with your kid. Just let them know how you feel, but don’t try to impose.
A child has more empathy than an adult, hence letting know how we feel, would help them find their own solution to resolve the issue.
Stop accusing, start letting the kid know how you feel. And we could try doing things in a way that is more relatable to kids! Giving a solution, or letting them what they have to do in a quirky way, would actually make them react favorably. Kids are not interested in logical explanations, but if we try communicating in their way, they might show interest.
As a parent, we have more power to shape them, but instead we blame them, without teaching and move on to our work. There are gentle ways to use our power to shape our kids. We can just try to let them be without being hard on them!
• Don’t impose the way you want them to act, instead give them choice on what they want to do.
• Giving them choice and suggestions to do their chores would help in decision-making, and they will co-operate more!
• As our attitude shapes our life, what we tell our kids to shape them is very important. As a parent, it is our duty to help our kid to know about their feelings, like self-respect, identity and self-satisfaction. The common mistake of parent is misconception.
We tend to typecast them, which would lead to pressure. All kids with time would undergo a lot of behavioral changes, and labeling them for their natural changes would affect their mental health! We think, over praising our kids, is good. But it actually pressures them!
They will always be keen onto maintain it, because of fear of failure. They tend to mask their own emotions in order to match our expectations! So, please stop labeling kids.
Like everyone, kids also learn from mistakes. But do let them know, that you are acknowledging their positive things.
Appreciating them for the positive attributes and educating them about it would help the kid grow with better perspectives! Instead of rewarding the kids often, try to compliment them for their positive attributes. This would give them a good perspective about themselves!
Even your small thoughts about your kid, would play major role in the growth of your kid!
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