How to Say No to People (and Protect Our Yes!) Feat. ADHD People Pleasers part 1

Hello Brains! I'm super-busy right now. There are a lot of things I'm supposed to be doing... ...that I'm definitely behind on, but eh... ...that's kind of my always.  are oftenWhich U.S. Olympic Curler Chris Plys honors his late father | Breaking Barriers overwhelmed, exhausted... ...and behind on everything. There are a lot of reasons for this. But one of the big ones is that we tend to say yes... ...to more than we probably should. Why? Enthusiasm. People pleasing. Impulsivity. People pleasing.  My time isn't valuable. Time blindness. Etc. [inhales] So we over-commit. The problem with that is we end up overwhelmed and exhausted. The more we take on, the more we increase our workload. Which is a key-factor in burnout. Which I talk about in this video. Which means that the things that are important but not urgent... ...often don't get done. Until they are urgent, at which point it is often... ...really expensive to put out the raging fire that they have become. In terms of sleep, energy, money. For example, I had so much going on last year... ... didn't have time to take over the title on my mom's car. Which I was already driving. So I kept putting it off. Until I started getting tickets because the registration had expired. Now I have to pay those tickets... ...pay extra to expedite switching over the title... ...and take a lift to my studio or get Dr. B. to pick me up. Until I get the new registration I will get more tickets. Honestly  time I thought of it... ...  really didn't have the time or the bandwidth to do it that day. Or that week. In retrospect, I probably could have made the room for it. How? By saying NO to other things. Sleep. [off camera] You need to sleep! Other than sleep. As Renee Brooks puts it, "Guard your YES with your life." She has a point. Because even if we technically have time to do all the things. We still have limited amounts of energy and mental bandwidth to get them done. Which is  apparently, most people have something called "white space" in their day. Space they'll tend for things to take longer than they expect. Or unexpected things to land on their plate. So we want to be really selective about the things we agree to do. This is easier said than done. Because, Hi, we have ADHD! But here are some of the most helpful things I have learned. And I'm putting in a video I can remember. And reference the next time... ... am tempted to say yes to way too many things. 1. Have some way of determining... ...what types of things we will and won't say yes to. Because our brains don't naturally prioritize well... ...it can be critical for our brains to externalize that decision-process. 2. Buy ourselves time to decide. If we don't have to make the decision in the heat of the moment... ...we'll be more likely to make a decision... ...that's in line with our goals, values, and priorities. And the time and energy we actually have. 3. Say no when it makes sense to say no.