How to Promote Independence With Pocket Money

At conferences I am often asked about pocket money and whether it should be paid or given only when the children are well behaved. I believe that children should receive pocket money as their minimum share of family wealth just as they should share the workload at home. This does not mean that the family income is divided equally among all members. Instead, children are given a fair amount of money, based on their age, needs, and financial ability. It makes sense to provide guidelines on spending which includes informing them of what they are expected to buy. An elementary-school child may earn enough to buy sweets and one or two more, while a high school-school child may earn enough to pay for lunch, bus fare, and other delicacies. A clothing cover can be useful for young people who can afford to wear the latest fashions. Let them know that you are going to buy the basics and that they can make a difference between the brand names and the basics in their wallet. A fund can teach children a lot about setting goals. By encouraging children to save a big-ticket item like a bicycle or skateboard children learn a lot about planning and looking forward, the importance of budgeting and a sense of personal satisfaction in achieving a goal. Used this way, pocket money is a great way to develop independence for children and young people. But my kids are not spending money well! It helps if you guide them right from the start and emphasize that they divide their money into three categories - one for spending, one for the future and one for community or social organizations. I hate to interrupt their spending as it is their share of the wealth and they need to control how they spend money. There are, however, times when the interests of long-term children need to be addressed. For example, if a child has a weight problem and is constantly buying sweets then parental intervention is the best option. It is about knowing your child and using your mind. Should children be given a purse if they misbehave? It is wise to separate pocket money and behaviour. Parents can also get into trouble and cause great frustration for their children if they take money out of their pockets and behave better. Look for alternatives to saving money. How often should package money be given? It helps if the pocket money is given regularly. As adults children should have a payday every week or two when they receive their share of family wealth. Provide them with coins so they can assign different uses. How old can I start with pocket money? You can start giving money to four-year-olds in the pocket and cut it on their fifteenth birthday so they can be encouraged to get a part-time job. For four- and five-year-olds, give them a few coins and attach them to two items that you usually buy for yourself as food. Let them know that they can buy it for themselves or put their money in a box for later use. Spending money on a packet is another way to relieve children of the pressure they put on their parents to buy, buy, buy. If they come back from school and ask you to buy a new toy because all their friends have one you can let them know they can buy it or at least donate their treasure. For more practical ideas on how to raise responsible children and strong teens read Michael's best-selling parenting book - One Step Ahead. Michael Grose is a leading parent-teacher. is the author of six books and 300 essays, and gives more than 100 presentations a year.