Sometimes it can be difficult to find someone to talk to. You might be shy at times, or you might have little in common with the person you're talking to. Getting good at conversation isn't as difficult as you might think, but it does take some effort. Whether it's a dinner party, your college, or you're on the phone, a good conversation starts when both or more people feel comfortable talking to each other, in front of each other. There are a number of steps you can take to be totally cool and have a great conversation with practically anyone.
1) Be an active participant
Ask good questions. It takes at least two people to have a good conversation. Make sure you play your role properly and actively participate in the discussion. Asking questions is also one of the best ways to do this, so that any discussion develops naturally.
Ask open-ended questions. Instead of saying, "What a lovely day, isn't it?" Say, "What are you planning on enjoying this lovely weather?" The first example only needs a yes or no to answer, which can stop the conversation right there. Ask questions that require more than one word to answer.
Ask questions that make it clear what the other person is trying to say. If you're talking to your teen about the rules, say, "I hear you say that you're frustrated because you don't feel like you're getting enough leeway. Now you tell me how to fix it." What can we do to find the one that is right for both of us?"
2) Try to actively listen.
Active listening means that you respond to the person sitting in front of you while talking so that they see that you are paying attention to them as well. . You can also show that you're listening by giving both physical and verbal signals that you're listening. Actively listening to the other person makes the other person feel valued and respected, which is very important in the effort to develop effective communication.
You can also tell someone that you're listening attentively by your positive body language. Make sure you maintain eye contact throughout the conversation. You can also show your activation by nodding your head at the right time.
You can also use some verbal cues to indicate that you are paying attention to your side of the conversation. These can be simple hints like "That's so funny!" Or something more weighty, like "I didn't even know thatCan you tell me a little bit more about what it feels like physically to run a marathon?"
Another way to show you're listening attentively is to repeat parts of the conversation. Try explaining in detail. For example, you could say, "It's so fun that you're looking for some volunteer opportunities for yourself. It sounds like you're really excited to try something new."
pay attention. The meaning of listening to someone's words carefully is that whatever the other person is saying, think about it and keep it in your mind. Instead of trying to formulate your own response to what they say, pay attention to what they are saying and remember the information in what they said.
3) Be genuine:
While having a conversation, try to show that you are genuinely interested in the other person. For example, maybe you want to get to know your boss better. Your boss may have loads of work to do that will leave her with a lot of time, and she may want people to limit her interaction. Instead of gossiping with her, try to make a genuine connection. If you're working on a project, ask her for advice on handling a client. Be genuine, and show the other person that you care about their views.
It is possible that your neighbor has hoisted the flag of a political party outside his house, and you are curious to know the reason. You can honestly say, "I see you have a party flag flying outside your houseDo any of your family members belong to that party?" This is a conscious and genuine way to start a conversation. Once you understand the other person, you can move on to other topics.
4) Find commonalities in each other:
Good conversation requires you to pay attention to the other person's interests. You can find something that the two of you have in common, which is a great way to "find something for you to talk about". You may have to ask any number of questions to understand what is in common between you two, but your efforts will not go in vain.
You may want to improve your relationship with your new sister-in-law, but you are two different types of people. Try talking about a new TV show you watched or a new book you read. You might find that you have similar interests. If all these efforts fail, then choose something that most people like. For example, most people like to eat well. Ask them what their favorite dinner is, and take things from there.
5) Be aware of current news:
Try to be aware of what is going on in the world. This will keep you prepared when someone tries to talk to you about current events. Every morning, take a moment to look at the headlines. Being knowledgeable will help you be a far better participant in conversation.
Another, better way is to stay up to date with what's happening in pop culture as well. You can have fun chatting about the latest new books, movies, and music with your friends, co-workers, or even with another person on the bus on your way to the office in the morning.
If possible, avoid discussing objectionable issues (such as politics, religion, etc.) with anyone, as such discussions often lead to arguments.
6) Monitor your body language:
In a face-to-face conversation, your body language plays a very important role. Eye contact is especially important. Making eye contact with someone shows that you are engaged in the conversation and that you are paying attention.
Remember that making eye contact doesn't mean staring at someone. Instead, try to maintain eye contact 50% of the time when you're talking and 70% of the time when you're listening.
You can also use non-verbal cues while talking to someone. Nod your head to show you understand, or smile when a positive response is expected.
Also keep in mind that you do not need to sit straight like a statue during the conversation. Keep moving your body (yes, but don't move too crazy, otherwise the person in front may start thinking something wrong about you). Cross your legs if you feel like it, but also move your body in a way that confirms you're paying attention to the conversation! Note: Your body speaks louder than your words!
7) Avoid sharing too much:
Sharing too much means that you are saying something that will either embarrass you, or worse, embarrass the person sitting in front of you. This can be really weird. Many times it happens that people say something without thinking and then immediately regret it. Giving too much information can make you feel awkward as well as the person listening to you. To avoid sharing too much, try to learn about the situations in which this happens.
Often when a person is very nervous, or is eager to make a good impression on the other person in any way, then only he talks more in this way. For example, when you're on your way to an important job interview, pause and take a few deep breaths before walking into the room. Also, take some time to think about what you're going to say before voicing your thoughts. If you want, you can also start talking at a slower rate, in which you can talk at 1/3 the speed instead of your normal speed.
Assess your relationship with the other person. Before sharing something about yourself, take a moment to pause and ask yourself, "Is this person the right person to discuss this with?" For example, you wouldn't want to talk to the person behind you in line at a coffee shop about your growing piles. They don't need this information, and they'll probably be uncomfortable with it.
Keep one thing in mind that in order to know about a person, you can definitely share some of your personal information. But you don't have to tell everything about yourself at once. Try sharing just one personal thing about yourself with them each time you meet, to gauge their reaction and improve your relationship. By the way, by sharing such information, there is a risk of them criticizing you and rejecting you, but it is also needed to improve any relationship.
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