If you wonder how much s e x other people have, it could be because you aren’t where you want to be s e x -wise in your marriage. It happens. We all go through ups and downs. Times of stress, like moving, a new baby, or illness, can all temporarily get in the way.
Also, couples tend to experience a steady decline in s e x urge post-marriage than what they enjoyed before saying ‘I do.’
A survey conducted by Cosmopolitan.com revealed the drop in the frequency of s e x is ubiquitous, irrespective of the age of spouses and duration of the marriage.
But if you and your partner have been on the downside for a while, and there doesn’t seem to be any significant reason, then talking to a s e x therapist is a good option.
A good marriage therapist can help you both get to the root of why s e x is an issue and offer help to bring you together again.
Beyond s e x therapy, there are many great books about s e x and marriage you and your spouse could read together to get ideas.
Also, if you are both onboard and want to reconnect, why not plan a weekend getaway to jump-start things?
Setting the mood for s e x in marriage can lead to increased Intercourse satisfaction, arousal, and passion. Send a s e x text to your spouse during the day. Also, take time for foreplay like slow, gentle kissing that might lead to deep kissing that can help heighten Intercourse arousal and passion.
Intercourse passion, excitement, satisfaction, and pleasure don’t have to subside with time.
Many marriages see a decline in Intercourse passion and satisfaction over time. In other words, marriage is hard. Research findings are averages, though, which means that some marriages do not see a decline in Intercourse passion and satisfaction over time. Recent research suggests that Intercourse passion, if properly nurtured, can last for decades of marriage.
Researchers asked about 39,000 people in the US who had been in a relationship for at least 3 years what helps keep s e x u a l passion alive, and they found three themes:
1. Mood Setting
Setting the mood for s e x in marriage can lead to increased Intercourse satisfaction, arousal, and passion. Send a s e x text to your spouse during the day. Also, take time for foreplay like slow, gentle kissing that might lead to deep kissing that can help heighten Intercourse arousal and passion. Taking a weekend getaway to a cabin or hotel can provide ample couple alone time—similar to a honeymoon. As you set the mood for Intercourse passion, pleasure and satisfaction can abound in your marriage.
2. S e x u a l Variety
Popular media sometimes teaches a Intercourse script that leads to and finishes with intercourse. However, mixing things up is important for lasting Intercourse passion and satisfaction for husband and wife. Wearing lingerie, giving massages, talking about and executing Intercourse fantasies, participating in genital holding, and slowing down s e x can help provide variety. However, make sure to communicate about Intercourse variety with your spouse before trying new things. Both spouses should agree on practices before implementation. While considering different practices, channel creativity and implement what works for both spouses.
“What if we run out of new ideas?” some might ask. Reading reputable s e x -advice books together can boost your creativity. Some good books include: “Intercourse Wholeness in Marriage,” “Knowing HER Intimately: 12 Keys for Creating a S e x traordinary Marriage,” “And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Intercourse Fulfillment,” or “The s e x -Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple's Guide.”
Based on advice from these trusted sources, you can experiment together, have fun, mix things up, and keep Intercourse passion and satisfaction alive.
3. Communication
Two main types of communication that lead to increased Intercourse satisfaction are verbal and non-verbal Intercourse communication. Does talking or non-verbally implying about s e x lead to greater Intercourse satisfaction? That may be the wrong question.
Researchers have documented that the type of communication utilized is not what’s most important. Whether a couple is happy with the type of s e x communication is what matters most. Consider communicating about Intercourse preferences: discuss Intercourse likes, dislikes, desires, and Intercourse frequency.
While discussing preferences, different conversations about s e x in marriage might surface. Sometimes couples discuss their preferences, but other times couples discuss Intercourse discrepancies or problems. All of these conversations about s e x in marriage can be crucial for couples to understand the other and should not be feared. As couples communicate, they can understand what their spouse wants in the bedroom and better attend to Intercourse desires.
4. Turn Outward
In addition to these three themes of what leads to Intercourse passion and satisfaction, other evidence points to turning outward in s e x . According to Linda Waite, Ph.D. at the University of Chicago, turning outward to attend to a spouse’s needs can “literally double your Intercourse pleasure: You get satisfaction not only from your own Intercourse response but from your partner’s as well . . . love and concern for one’s partner shifts the focus away from the self in a Intercourse relationship and toward the other person. This selfless approach to s e x , paradoxically, is far more likely to bring Intercourse satisfaction to both men and women.
As both spouses turn outward and seek to help the other have a satisfying experience, Intercourse passion and satisfaction can remain alive and well.
5. Intentionality
In closing, Intercourse satisfaction and passion in marriage does not need to decline over time. However, in addition to these 4 important ideas, couples must also be intentional. Work demands, children’s extracurricular activities, exercising, household tasks, errands, and many other things may make it hard to find time and energy for s e x in marriage. Even if couples use all 4 suggestions above, Intercourse intimacy can still slide in importance behind some of these other things if couples are not intentional. Intentionality, in this case, means consistently making time for Intercourse intimacy.
Keeping Intercourse passion alive will take intentionality and sustained effort through Intercourse communication, Intercourse variety, mood setting, and turning outward. Through this intentionality and sustained effort, couples can enjoy increased Intercourse passion and satisfaction.
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