Where you live will likely determine whether preschool is the norm; and your budget and housing will affect whether you will be able to follow this norm or tradition and provide your baby with his own separate nursery.
A nursery or a separate bedroom for newborns is not common practice in many countries. My children from my first marriage were brought up in England, where the child will go home to a separate bedroom or nursery after being taken from the hospital. My little daughter, Saffron, was born here in the Philippines, where it is traditional for babies to sleep with their parents.
It can be a difficult choice for new parents: do we put our newborn in her own nursery, or do we have her in the bedroom in a crib or even in our bed? There are conflicting opinions on this choice, and it's one that has generated quite a bit of comment and surprise here when we decided to put Saffron in her own cot in her own nursery the day she came home from the children's clinic.
I was of the firm belief that a separate room was best in the long run, and therefore best to start with. A baby and then a child will grow up according to what they are used to and what they see and feel as the norm. The most important thing for a baby is:
1) They are well-fed.
2) They are kept hygenic.
3) They are secured.
4) They feel safe knowing that their parents, especially their mother, will be there when they wake up.
5) They are beloved.
All of these things are easily accessible in a child's room separate from the parents' room.
Advantages of an Independent Kindergarten
A separate children's room brings with it a number of important advantages for both the baby and the parents. These include:
1) The child will sleep undisturbed by parents coming and going. As they get older, this will be especially important in the evening and at night.
2) Parents will have their privacy and time for themselves. This will be more and more appreciated as the weeks, months, and then years go by.
3) Parents will also sleep better, especially compared to those who have a child in their own bed.
4) The baby is more likely to grow up to be a strong and independent child with a lot of self-confidence. As long as they are happy and safe, they will not be afraid of sleeping alone because that is what they expect. They know that when they wake up, their mother and father are nearby.
Disadvantages of Independent Kindergarten
I can't think of a single real downside to a separate nursery, provided the room is within earshot. A baby can cry quite loudly at birth, and why should it be when the natural state is for the mother to always be by their side? A child cries so that its mother can hear it from afar. If this distance is near the next bedroom, then it is fine. The baby will be indifferent if she cries, and you appear at the door instead of at her side.
Some first-time parents will worry that they won't hear the baby if she's sleeping, and she's in a separate room. No need to worry; the mother in particular will be attuned to the baby's cry and subconsciously alert to the slightest sound. My wife was worried about just that when Saffron was born, so to reassure her we left our bedroom door open and the Staff room door too. She soon realized that there was no danger of her not hearing the baby, so first the staff door and then ours were closed later that night.
Always remember that babies cry to be heard, so unless you're both very heavy sleepers, there's very little chance you won't hear your baby when they're hungry, need a change, or have some other problem.
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