How to Coping with problems: some practical advice

Every day, we come across problems or requirements that we feel compelled to act on immediately and resolutely. When these accumulate, we can end up emotionally exhausted, either due to the accumulation of demands, or because we feel paralyzed and do not know how to face what we have in hand. The Stoic philosopher Epictetus began his Manual of a happy life by pointing out that, in life, it is key to distinguish between things that depend on us or not. This previous step saves many sleepless nights and sterile complaints. Once we have identified what depends on us, some of the principles of the technique called "Analysis and resolution of problems" can help us. It would be, in the first place, to analyze the problem and then contemplate possible solutions and evaluate the results. Throughout the process, it is important to calm emotions and, whenever possible, bracket prejudices. In addition to trying to calm emotions, it can be helpful to take time to write down what we are analyzing and resolving. Once the discernment has been applied, it will be possible to decide, among the valued solutions, which one we will carry out. It must be borne in mind that there are no "perfect solutions" and the final decision is not found immediately. Often, to arrive at the correct solution to the problem, we have to make some previous attempts at a solution. When we get stuck in a dilemma, it can be useful, if it is not something urgent, to rest and come back to it at another time when we are more lucid. Furthermore, this method does not have to be carried out alone, but it can help us to do it with someone we trust who can provide us with different perspectives, enriching our analysis and opening the possibility of considering new alternatives that we had not considered. Thus, when faced with a problem that worries us, we can work on the following steps toward its solution. Define the specific problem. What is happening? Worrying is useless. Let's think objectively and develop a plan. What are we facing? Does it depend on us or not? Break the problem down into parts. In this phase, we break down the problem into smaller parts or a series of different problems. This can help alleviate the feeling of emotional blockage that some complex situations activate. It can also allow us to review what we can or cannot do with each of these parts that make up the problem. For example, we often verbalize that we are worried about our children. Faced with this abstract definition of the problem, it is very difficult for us to work toward a resolution. It would be good, therefore, to specifically identify what worries us about our children: studies, economic situation, etc. Thus, we can move in a more practical way toward the solution. Imagine and outline possible solutions. At this point, as many solutions as possible would be proposed, no matter how crazy they may seem. It is not about looking for the ideal solution, but about assessing response options to the problem without thinking about whether they are adequate or not. It would be about making us more flexible in the face of the "tunnel vision" that we often adopt by focusing on a single solution. Here we must think for ourselves various solutions. Evaluate possible solutions. Here, each of the given solutions is valued, including the pros and cons and assessing the feasibility of implementing them. Often, it is not enough to adhere to instrumental value criteria (utility or efficacy) rather non-instrumental values ​​that we usually call “ethical” weigh more. Try to choose the most appropriate course of action: this deliberation process leads to deciding on "the best course of possible responses" and putting it into action. Evaluate the results and reconsider new solutions if necessary. It is advisable to spend some time reflecting on where the action we have taken has led and, if necessary, assess what needs to be modified. This method is not a mere impersonal cost-benefit analysis, but, in the end, it is a decision-making process in which both instrumental and ethical thoughts, emotions, and values ​​intervene. To be able to put it into practice, it is necessary to periodically dedicate some time to stop, calm down and thus be able to establish an internal dialogue and, often, with others, which allows us to appropriate the path of our freedom as much as possible.