Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. However, it can be a problem if you have a hard time keeping it under control.
Recognize signs of anger
Your heart beats faster and you breathe faster, preparing yourself for action. You may also notice other signs, such as tension in the shoulders or clenched hands. "If you notice these signs, get out of the situation if you've lost control," says Isabel.
Count to 10
Counting to 10 gives you time to cool down so you can think more clearly and overcome the urge to explode.
Breathe slowly
Exhale longer than you inhale and relax as you exhale. "You automatically breathe in more than you breathe out when you're angry, and the trick is to breathe out more than you breathe in," says Isabel. "It effectively calms you down and helps you think more clearly."
Long-term anger management
If you find yourself angry and can calm yourself down, you can start looking for ways to manage your anger more generally. Exercise can help with anger
Reduce your overall stress levels through exercise and relaxation. Running, walking, swimming, yoga and meditation are just a few activities that can reduce stress. "Exercising as part of your daily life is a good way to release anger and rage," says Isabel.
Taking care of yourself can calm you down
Set aside regular time to relax and make sure you get enough sleep. Drugs and alcohol can make anger problems worse. "They lower inhibitions, and we actually need inhibitions to stop us from acting out when we're angry," says Isabel.
Be creative
Writing, playing music, dancing or painting can release tension and reduce feelings of anger.
Talk about how you feel
Talking to a friend about your feelings can be helpful and help you gain a different perspective on the situation.
Let go of angry thoughts
"Try to let go of any nonsensical thoughts," says Isabel. "Thoughts like, 'It's not fair' or 'You shouldn't have people like that,' can make anger worse."
This type of thinking keeps you focused on what makes you angry. Let those thoughts go and it will be easier to calm down.
Try to avoid using sentences that contain:
always (eg "You always do that")
never ("You never listen to me")
should or shouldn't ("You should do what I want" or "You shouldn't have")
must or mustn't ("I must be on time" or "I mustn't be late")
should or shouldn't ("People should get out of my way")
unfair
Anxiety, fear and anger
Sometimes when people talk about anger, what they really mean is aggression, says Dr. James Woollard, a child and adolescent psychiatrist. "Often when people feel or seem to show anger, it's because they also feel fear or see danger and respond by 'fighting back.'
"Ask yourself: What can I be afraid of? It can give you different ways to respond," says Dr. Woollard. "You may be angry that something didn't go your way. But you may also fear that you might be blamed or hurt as a result. Acknowledging this can allow you to think and act differently.
Learn more about your anxiety.
"Anger management is as much about managing your happiness and contentment as it is about managing your anger," adds Dr. Woollard. "It should be part of developing emotional intelligence and resilience."
Domestic violence and hatred
When unbridled anger leads to domestic violence (domestic violence or threatening behavior), there are places that offer help and support. You can talk to your doctor or contact domestic violence organizations such as:
shelter
Scottish Women's Aid
LGBT Domestic Violence Project
Battered Men in Scotland
Surviving Scotland
Get help for anger
If you feel you need help dealing with your anger, contact your doctor. Local anger management classes or counseling can help. There are private classes and therapists who can help with anger issues. Make sure any therapist you see is registered with a professional body such as the British Association for Counseling and Psychotherapy.
Anger management programs
A typical anger management program may include individual counseling and group work. Programs can consist of one-day or weekend courses. In some cases, it may take longer than a few months. The structure of programs can vary depending on who offers them, but most programs include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and counseling.
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