How to control your anger?

You should learn to manage your feelings for better health. Most of the time you do not choose to be angry, but somehow you are suddenly feelings of anger. Often, you don't know we are angry until you feel it.

You may have noticed that what "triggers" your anger one time may not do so at another time. Different people may also react very differently to the same event. Some people recover much more quickly than others when provoked by any negative emotion, including anger.

Angry feelings are a natural reaction to frustration or interference with our goals. Yet we all are different in terms of what events trigger us to get back to normal. Learning to see a situation differently, cooling off, and looking for alternative responses are all effective ways to better cope with angry feelings.

If you are a quick-recovering person, you are probably also better able to control your emotions. However, if you are challenged in this regard, you will need to work harder to develop anger management skills to deal with your feelings.

Anger comes from a part of your brain that is very old and can be very brief, lasting only a second or two. You can be happy one moment and angry the next. Angry feelings may continue over a long period. If you are angry a lot, but your feelings are not connected to life circumstances, we call it a 'Mood'. Angry moods lead to angry feelings coming on stronger and faster.

Once anger begins, it generates changes in your expression, your face, your voice, and the way you think. It also creates impulses to action. Sometimes you have thoughts that generate anger. Other times you have thoughts that occur at the same time as the anger. It is also possible for your anger to generate thoughts about what you are angry toward.

 Suppose you are standing in the queue for a railway ticket. You see that the person ahead of you is talking to the booking manager and asking absurd questions. The cashier is doing nothing to manage the situation and is having a friendly chat with him about his life while other people are waiting in line on that hot day.

If you are like most people, you will probably experience angry feelings. Then what should you do? How should you respond?

These are ways to deal with angry feelings:

• You can view the situation differently. While angry feelings frequently surprise you and come automatically, your 'self-talk' makes you angrier. Change what you tell yourself about what is going on, and you can drastically change your feelings about it. In your example, try telling yourself a few minutes more won't matter, or "I'll speak to the officer about the issue when I have more time."
•  Try to cool down - Relax and cool down. Once captured by intense angry feelings, you may become incapacitated and unable to solve a problem or obtain the information you need to deal with the issue. The solution is to cool down before doing anything.
•  You should look for alternatives. You can look for different ways to respond to the situation before angry feelings overtake you. Maybe you can still get what you want without displaying angry behavior. For instance, try to talk simply by giving him information:  try to talk simply by giving him information; "Are you aware that there is a long queue".
•  It is almost always better to try alternatives before expressing anger or aggression. In an angry situation, you lose confidence.