So, you want to control your mind.
Maybe you want to stop thinking about a recent breakup, feel discouraged from a year of physical distancing, and want to embrace a more hopeful perspective.
Unwanted thoughts can cause plenty of frustration and distress. You’re not alone in wanting to make them go away. It’s normal to have trouble convincing yourself to look up when feeling downcast in the face of stress and other challenges.
While actual mind control belongs in the realm of science fiction, you can work to change your mindset. It might take some effort to learn the trick of regaining control, but the 10 strategies below can help.
Work on managing stress
When circumstances out of your control add stress to your life, it often becomes more difficult to regulate your state of mind.
Stress and anxiety can fuel unwanted thoughts. This can provoke more worry, leading to a cycle that can rapidly become overwhelming.
Start taking back control by exploring key sources of stress in your life and seeking potential ways to remove or reduce those triggers.
Most people can’t completely remove stress triggers. Stress often comes from outside sources. You can’t always control what happens around you.
That’s where self-care comes in. Setting aside time to nurture your mind and body can promote improved well-being overall. It also makes it easier to bounce back from life’s difficulties with a more hopeful outlook.
Self-care can involve:
getting quality sleep
eating nourishing food
social connection
asking for help when needed
making time for relaxation
Work on managing stress
When circumstances out of your control add stress to your life, it often becomes more difficult to regulate your state of mind.
Stress and anxiety can fuel unwanted thoughts. This can provoke more worry, leading to a cycle that can rapidly become overwhelming.
Start taking back control by exploring key sources of stress in your life and seeking potential ways to remove or reduce those triggers.
Most people can’t completely remove stress triggers. Stress often comes from outside sources. You can’t always control what happens around you.
That’s where self-care comes in. Setting aside time to nurture your mind and body can promote improved well-being overall. It also makes it easier to bounce back from life’s difficulties with a more hopeful outlook.
Self-care can involve:
getting quality sleep
eating nourishing food
social connection
asking for help when needed
making time for relaxation
top and take a deep breath. Pause an out-of-control train of thought by literally thinking, "STOP!". Take several deep breaths to collect yourself before moving on, which allows you to address your thoughts with a level head.
By focusing your mind on your breathing for a moment, you give yourself some distance from your thoughts and make them easier to manage.
Studies show that it takes 90 seconds for neurochemical triggers to fade from your brain and return you to normal brain chemistry, so try counting to 90 to calm yourself down. [1]
Remain in the moment. Constantly ruminating on the past, which you have no power to change, or projecting into the future, which you cannot possibly predict, is a sure way to lose control of your thoughts. Focus on the here and now -- the very tangible situation you are in that you can control, and your thoughts will follow.
Try a simple grounding technique like sitting in a chair and focusing on what your feet feel like as they touch the floor. This can help you connect with what you feel in the moment and tune out other concerns.
Many spiritual practices recommend staying in the moment to promote inner peace and clarity.
A simple question to ask yourself is: what can I do right now to change how I feel?
Observe your thoughts without judgment. After pausing, return to your thoughts without critiquing yourself for having them. Consider why you are having such thoughts and what made you feel like you lost control of your brain. Taking an objective look at your thoughts will help you make sense of them without spawning negative emotions.
Stick to objective, concrete facts. If you are in a fight, don't cast blame or guess why the other party is angry. Consider what events lead to the fight, what can be done to end it, and what specifically made you upset.
Instead of "I'm really bad with women, it's my fault that I don't have a girlfriend," think "I haven't found love yet because I haven't met someone truly compatible with me."
Take action to address your thoughts. Sitting with your ideas without action leads to an endless cycle of thoughts. Make a plan to address your thoughts and worries, as uncertainty is often at the root of rogue thoughts. If you can't stop thinking about work, for example, make a plan to separate your work life from your home life by taking time off, working less from home, or finding new work that you enjoy.
Oftentimes we cannot control our thoughts because we are scared to act on them.
Once you make these plans, you need to follow through with them. [2]
If your thoughts seem distorted or if you constantly feel out of control, you may need to seek self-help or professional therapy.
Put yourself in a comfortable environment. The outside world profoundly affects your inner world, so if you are in an environment where you feel uncomfortable or out of control then your thoughts will mirror those feelings. Put on music that relaxes you, light a candle, or go to your "favorite spot."
Scents like lavender, chamomile, and incense are proven to relax you and may help you get your thoughts under control.[3]
Try taking a walk out in nature. Green space is known to calm the mind, especially if you live in an urban environment. Find a park, beach, or hiking trail and take some time to disconnect.[4]
Temporarily divert your thoughts to another activity. Go for a run, watch a movie, or call a friend to take your mind off the thoughts at hand. Do something that you can do immediately and does not allow you to sit around longer with your rogue thoughts.
If, for example, you are waiting in line or feel out of control in a traffic jam, distract yourself by trying to count down from 100 by 7s.
Make a note of the activities that help you relax and work them into your weekly schedule.
Remember, however, that this is a short-term solution. You should still work on ways to contain your thoughts when you cannot "escape" them.
Talk to someone to get your thoughts out in the open. Having a fresh perspective on your thoughts can often clear them away in minutes, and sharing your feelings keeps them from repeating in your head over and over again. [5]
Good people to share with include friends, parents, and professional therapists.
If you are uncomfortable, start by saying "I have something to get off my chest," or "I've had something on my mind all day, would you mind listening for a moment?"
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