How to Build a Positive Attitude /

Recognize that change takes time. Think of building a positive attitude in the same way that you think of building strength or developing fitness. It’s an endeavor that takes consistent effort.

Identify and nurture your strongest qualities. Focus on your strengths to help create more positive emotional experiences. In turn, this will make handling adversity easier.

• Make a list of things you enjoy doing or things you’re good at. Try to do some of these things regularly. This will build up your reserve of positive experiences.

Write in a journal. Studies show that self-reflection can be an effective learning and teaching tool in school and work settings.^[11] Self-reflection can be used to help develop a positive attitude as well. Writing down your feelings and thoughts can help you recognize your behaviors and responses.

• At first, it might seem strange or awkward to write self-reflections. But with time and practice, you’ll recognize some behavior and emotional patterns in your writing. This will help you target areas that may be blocking you from your goals.

Write about positive things in your day. Review the day and find positive things about it. These can include things that made you happy, proud, awestruck, grateful, calm, content, pleased, or any other positive emotion.

• For example, recall your morning routine, and spend time noticing the moments you felt peaceful or happy. This might include a beautiful view along your morning commute, or the pleasure of your first sip of coffee, or an enjoyable conversation you had.
• Take special time to focus on moments where you felt proud of yourself or grateful to someone else. These can be small things, such as gratitude for your partner making the bed. You might also take pride in the way you accomplished a task or completed a challenge you set for yourself.
• You may find it helpful to start your reflections with the positive moments of your day. Re-experiencing positive emotions can help you adjust your perspective on the negative moments.

Write about moments when you had negative emotions. Identify moments in your day when you experienced negative emotions. These might include guilt, shame, embarrassment, frustration, disappointment, fear, or disgust. Do any of these thoughts seem extreme? Perhaps you are mortified for spilling coffee on your boss. Do you think that you’ll be fired because of the incident and you’ll never be able to find a job again? Extreme reactions to everyday occurrences can block more positive, productive thinking.

Reframe negative moments as positive ones. Look over your list of negative moments. Spend time reframing these moments in a way where you can get positive (or at least neutral) emotions out of these experiences.

• For example, if you experienced road rage on your drive home, reframe the other driver’s intentions as making an honest mistake. If you felt embarrassed about something that happened during the day, think about how it was actually a silly or laughable situation. Even if your boss was upset about having coffee spilled on him, mistakes happen from time to time. With any luck, maybe your boss will see the humor in it also.
• If you don’t treat smaller mistakes as life-altering experiences, you will be able to handle situations better. One way to handle the coffee situation is to express your genuine concern that your boss is first and foremost okay and that you didn’t burn him. Next, you can offer to go buy him another shirt on your lunch hour, or offer to dry-clean the stained one.