The new study finds that 66 percent of working parents during the pandemic met the criteria for parental burnout, which happens when chronic stress and exhaustion overwhelm a parent’s ability to function or cope with stress.
“I think this study reflects how much parents are struggling and how much the pandemic has taken a toll on parents and their relationships with their children,” one of the study’s authors, Kate Malik, DNP, RN, associate professor of clinical nursing at The Ohio State University College of Nursing and a nurse practitioner, told Healthline.
“We, as parents, can only do so much, and we are doing the best that we can,” she continued.
Past studies have found parental burnout as being distinct from the more commonly recognized job burnout associated with high-stress occupations like law and healthcare. A researcher surveyed 900 parents and found that parental burnout may be experienced as having exhaustion in your parental role, feeling different from your previous parental self, and it may lead to feelings of being fed up and also feeling emotionally distant from your children. According to Bernadette Meany, PhD, vice president for health promotion, university chief wellness officer, and dean of the College of Nursing at OSU, parental burnout doesn’t just affect parents but also negatively affects their children.
“Not only is parental burnout associated with increased anxiety, depression, and alcohol use, but it is related to punitive or harsher parenting practices,” said Meany.
Parental stress can adversely affect children.
Meany said that parental burnout and other emotions are transmitted to children.
“For example, anxious parents are likely to have anxious children,” she said. “Parents who are burnt out are likely to have children that are having issues with anxiety/depression and acting out behaviors.”
She warned that we must “act urgently” to help parents experiencing burnout to avoid crises for the parents and mental health problems in their children.
Why parents should focus on their own needs Dr. Alex Dimitri, double board-certified in psychiatry and sleep medicine and founder of Menlo Park Psychiatry & Sleep Medicine and Brain food, noted that parents need to focus on themselves first.
“Self-care is the first priority,” he said. “It is mandatory for the parent or caregiver to assure that their own basic biological needs are met – besides work and parenting.”
Dimitri advises caregivers to focus on their basic needs.
He recommends that parents follow ‘SEMI’ which stands for sleep, exercise, Mediterranean or another healthy diet, and meditation, or at least make sure they regularly get some quiet and “alone time.”
Meany said it’s not selfish to practice good self-care, adding that it’s necessary to take good care of others.
“As part of taking good self-care, parents need to take a few short recovery breaks during the day,” she said.
This can include drinking a warm beverage slowly while focusing on the present moment, getting some physical activity, and taking some deep abdominal breaths when feeling stressed, Meany recommended.
She advises parents to be “self-compassionate” and not put such high expectations on themselves that are difficult to live by.
“We need to get better at saying no without guilt, as guilt and worry are the two most wasted emotions,” she said.
Meany noted the importance of practicing resiliency and coping skills that serve as protective factors against burnout, depression, and anxiety.
“Such as mindfulness, taking a dose of vitamin G for gratitude every day, and cognitive-behavioral skills building,” said Meany
She also said parents should ask for help, especially if they are experiencing burnout, anxiety, or depression to the point that it is interfering with their concentration, judgment, or functioning.
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