The sentence “You have cancer” is usually closely followed by “You’re going to lose your hair.” That’s the way it was for me when I was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer in early October 2018.
I chose to go bald, but the decision of how to handle hair loss from chemo is very personal, and how I went about it was just one of many options. Women may also decide to wear hats, turbans, headscarves, or wigs, which could be realistic looking or fun and whimsical. There’s even a lesser-known option — cold cap therapy, also referred to as cold capping or scalp cooling — that can minimize hair loss from chemo. Here’s how three women with a variety of diagnoses decided to handle the prospect of losing their hair to chemo. Profession of Fitness instructor and writer Diagnosis Breast cancer, diagnosed at 34 Method for Dealing With Hair Loss Going bald
I started with wigs. For me, it was a confidence issue. My hair has always been such a big part of my identity. I’m a blended race, and [my hair] had always been long and easy to do. I honestly thought for a long time that my hair was me.
It scared me to think that by losing my hair, I would be losing a part of myself. At first, wigs seemed like the perfect choice because I would still be able to wear that confidence on my head and people would still see me as I had always been. But after trying them out during chemo and being in temporary menopause due to my chemotherapy treatments, I opted not to wear them anymore. The wigs were very itchy and kept my head very warm when I would experience hot flashes. One day,
I had to ask myself, "Am I my hair?"
My answer was no. I am so much more than my hair. That day was transformative for me and allowed me to more freely rock my bald head with confidence. Pros I loved many parts of being bald: the convenience, the money and time it saved, and the times when I was able to connect with other cancer fighters and survivors spontaneously in grocery stores or at the movies. Now, when I see a woman with a bald head, I always wonder if she is a fellow cancer warrior like me. Cons It was very cold with inside in the wintertime.
Biggest Lesson My hair is not me; I am more than that. Society tells women that beauty is long hair, long lashes, perfect eyebrows, gorgeous skin and nails, and toned bodies. During my chemo treatments I had no hair, eyelashes, or eyebrows. I had horribly chapped and dry, cracked skin.
I also gained 15 pounds from my treatments and became bloated from the vast amounts of steroids they pumped into my body during treatment. Learning to see my whole self and truly see me for me was huge. I may not be society’s version of beautiful, but I am still beautiful, then and now. Advice for Other Women Experiencing Hair Loss This journey of hair loss is hard. You may not recognize yourself, but know that you are beautiful no matter what. Rock out your wig if it makes your confidence grow, or wear your bald head proudly! Reach out to friends and know that you don’t have to walk this alone. You are not your hair. Your beauty goes so much deeper. Follow Ashadee Miller on Instagram at @dearcancer_it's me. Adana Schecter, 42 Greater Boston Area, Massachusetts Profession Instructional coach for middle and high school teachers Diagnosis Breast cancer, diagnosed at 33; has a BRCA1 mutation, a genetic change that greatly increases a woman’s risk of developing breast or ovarian cancer Method for Dealing With Hair Loss Wearing headscarves
Another young girl at my treatment center said that she did not want to put on a wig because she wanted the world to know that women her age were getting cancer. This influenced my decision. Also, my friends and family started buying me these beautiful scarves right away, and I just got into wearing them; it reminded me of all the love
I was getting from my community. My brother Ariel made one for me. I wore a head headband my deceased grandmother used to put on. These scarves reminded me that I was so loved and taken care of. It was symbolic for me, being wrapped in love by my friends and family. I was diagnosed when I had a 5-month-old baby and a 2-year-old. I knew the baby was not going to notice of an extruded in my hair, but the 2-year-old did, and I worried that being bald might scare her. My husband and I talked to her about how being bald is beautiful. We read this great children’s book that I would highly recommend to other moms called Nowhere Hair by Sue Glider. One day I took off my head headband because I was hot, and my daughter said, “Mommy, you look pretty.” I knew she was trying to make me feel better, and it was one of the sweetest moments. Also, my daughter began out sporting the scarves, too, so it ended up being a playful, fun experience for both of us. Pros Since people could tell I had cancer, every time I went out into the world, people would treat me with extra love and kindness. I just embraced this. I felt like I was being my true self by not hiding my cancer, but rather showing the world that I could be beautiful and strong with inside in the face of illness. Cons, My head did sometimes get too hot. Some scarves were a little tougher to tie than others. Some days I felt too tired to tie them, and they seemed more like a nuisance. Biggest Lesson There is something terrifying about looking with inside in the mirror and seeing a different person from the one you saw weeks ago, but there is also something liberating. Besides not having to worry about hair removal or shampoo (which was quite a luxury for an Ashkenazi Jew),
I just appreciated what I did have so much more. Losing my hair and finding a way to handle that big change was symbolic of my cancer experience overall. When [I was] diagnosed with cancer, there was so much I lost control over (like my life!), but I felt in control of how I lived during cancer. Advice for Other Women Experiencing Hair Loss, get a fun pixie cut early on and just shave it off before it starts falling out in clumps. I was glad I did that because I think it might have been more upsetting to watch large clumps fall out.
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