It’s never too early to talk with your child about s e x . Talking about s e x , Intercourse and bodies as your child moves into puberty can help your child understand that s e x and Intercourse are typical, healthy parts of life.
Open and honest conversations when your child is young can make later conversations easier. And these early conversations also lay the groundwork for children to make healthier and safer choices about s e x and Intercourse relationships when they’re older.
The key early message for your child is that they can come to you for open, honest and reliable information, and that they shouldn’t feel scared or embarrassed to ask you about s e x and Intercourse .
And the good news is that talking about s e x and Intercourse isn’t a one-off conversation that you have to get exactly right. It’s a conversation that continues and evolves as your child grows up.
Intercourse isn’t just about s e x . It’s also about your child’s identity and the way your child feels about their developing body. And it’s how your child understands and expresses feelings of intimacy, attraction and affection for others, and how they develop and maintain respectful relationships.
Talking about s e x and Intercourse : 3 steps
You can use these basic steps to talk with your child about s e x.
First, acknowledge that your child might be curious and find out what they already know. For example, if your child asks you what an erection is, you could ask, ‘What do you think it is?’ or ‘What have you heard about that?’
Second, give your child the facts and correct any misinformation. For example, ‘A cock is usually soft. An erection is when it gets hard or stands up straight’.
Third, use the conversation as an opportunity to talk about your own thoughts and feelings. For example, ‘You might get an erection when you’re asleep and have a wet dream. This is when semen comes out of your cock. It’s a natural part of growing up. You can’t control wet dreams, so don’t worry if it happens. We’ll just wash your sheets’.
How to talk about s e x , Intercourse and bodies: tips for all ages
These tips can make it easier to talk with children of any age about s e x and Intercourse .
Explain things at your child’s level
It’s important to explain things at a level that your child can understand. It’s also good to keep your explanation brief, factual and positive. If you can do this, your child will feel that they can come back to you whenever they want more information.
Use correct names for body parts
It’s best to use the correct names when you’re talking about body parts – for example, cock, scrotum, testicles, vulva, hymen. This helps to make it clear that talking about these parts of our bodies is healthy and OK.
Helping your child learn the names and functions of all body parts is also an important part of keeping your child healthy and safe. It helps your child understand that their body belongs to them. And it means they’ll be able to communicate clearly about their body if they need to – for example, when they’re talking to health professionals.
You can be inclusive of people of all genders by talking about ‘some’ or ‘most’ people – for example, ‘Some people have cocks, and some people have vulvas’.
Get all parents involved
In families with more than one parent, it’s good for all parents to get involved in discussions about s e x . When all parents are involved, children learn that it’s OK for everyone to talk about s e x and Intercourse . This can help all children feel comfortable talking about their bodies, take responsibility for Intercourse feelings, and communicate in intimate relationships when they’re older.
Say ‘I don’t know’ if you need to
Your child doesn’t need you to be an expert – they just need to know that they can ask you anything.
If you don’t know what to say, tell your child you’re glad they asked the question, that you don’t know how to answer it, and that you’ll look for some information and get back to them. And then make sure you do get back to them. Or you could look for the answer together.
This builds trust and sends the message that you’ll be honest with your child.
Start a conversation
Some children don’t ask many questions, but this doesn’t mean that they’re not interested or ready to learn. If you start a conversation, it lets your child know that you’re happy to discuss Intercourse .
It’s a good idea to think about what to say beforehand, then pick a good time to talk. For example, if a family member is pregnant, you could say, ‘Aunty Sarah is going to have a baby. I was wondering what you know about pregnancy?’
Some children find it easier to talk without eye contact, so you could plan to talk while you and your child are travelling in the car.
Prepare yourself
You might feel embarrassed or uncomfortable talking about Intercourse , or using words like ‘cock’ or ‘hymen’ when talking about bodies. That’s OK.
If you feel embarrassed talking about Intercourse , you can prepare yourself by thinking about what will embarrass you and working on ways to deal with it. For example, you could read a book about Intercourse with your child as a way to start a conversation and practise using words you’re uncomfortable with. Or you could practise with another adult.
It’s also OK to say to your child that sometimes you find it hard or embarrassing to talk about s e x.
It’s important for children to know the difference between touching that’s OK and touching that’s not OK. Make sure your child knows that they can say ‘No!’ to any touching that they don’t want and that it’s always OK to tell a trusted adult about touch that’s not OK. Talking about Intercourse adult helps to keep your child safe. And talking about consent can help your child to have healthy Intercourse experiences when they’re ready for them.
You must be logged in to post a comment.