Why not show us more compassion?
This sounds strange, but this is true. We behave badly many times. We will work even when we are tired from exhaustion. We will worry, even if our minds are tired. We will try to help others, when we need more help. We want to give so much to others that we forget our mind and body.
Another feeling we use to justify ourselves is guilt. We have borne the brunt of the guilt of our past and continue to look at those sins and use them to kick them out again and again. Goals and working tirelessly to achieve those goals, to help others, to ensure that no one gets hurt, and many other such desires make us work harder and in this process forget that we too are human.
Sometimes, we need to pamper ourselves. Talk to our bodies. Ask him out well. Talk to our minds. Tell her not to worry too much. Leave matters to God. Help others, and at the same time, be gentle and kind so that you can be calm and at peace.
How do you know if you've been in a relationship? Most people would argue that although dating is an intangible, there is no doubt about it. In fact, if you ask whether you are dating or not, it means you are not.
While I have no doubt in my mind about the existence of love (although I am one of those sad people who will still experience it), I am confused by the way we see what makes humanity so popular.
For me, dating is a decision based on a successful combination of pre-determined terms or preferences.
I refer to the first phase of our partner selection as a 'short-term mirror' category, as we sift through the qualities of our potential mate and compare them with our own preferences.
People say at this point they are ‘out of love’. My argument is that they never dated in the first place. One of my favorite movies, ‘Moulin Rouge’, sums it up well, “The biggest thing you’ve ever read, just love, and love in return”. I believe this is what we think in love is. Yet love in return means that there is a condition for your giving of love. So romantic love is a conditional love. When romantic love goes only one way, it is called unwanted love or 'hopelessness'.
With shortcuts still clinging firmly to my face, the certified Brazilian was allowed to move on to the second half of the first phase: collaboration. This is often the most lethal part of any possible relationship, as each sentence is stated, each appearance, and the whole movement is filtered through a sift glass filter. Any omission can lead to premature death of the relationship. There is very little excuse during this part, especially if a person's plan is set for a ‘long-time friend’. Having said that, it is also my favorite part of the process as it is very fun. I see it as a game we both know we are playing, but he refuses to admit that he exists. One can withdraw from the game at any time without effect (after all, when both parties operate under the same set of rules. Otherwise a few unwanted phone numbers are collected, followed by a few informal conversations. end with unwanted!).
The second stage, the 'rose-colored mirror' category, is extremely dangerous and is rarely approached with caution by any candidate. Depending on the impact of the first stage, the bombshell warning that the 'relationship disaster' may be reduced in front of human eyes, but it has been largely ignored. Everything seems and, consistently, fully functional. Despite my skepticism, this section is more fun than the shortcut section, though it is full of fears that it will end. The premature 'I love you' can escape someone else's mouth, falling like a ball at a roulette table. Anchors are high, but they can also pay well and transfer you to the third stage. Or not…
Announcing the title of the third phase is difficult. And the truth is, I don't know what to call it because I usually go to the green exit sign above the fire escape area before you say 'I'm getting married'.
My experience with the third phase is that I often see that Mr. Perfect is a person. I resist accepting him the way he is, and I try to point out where he is lacking (he is usually less open to my constructive criticism. This does not lead him to change his ways, but is rooted in them (and annoys me in this process). Love and commitment are replaced by fear and dependence. Some stayed to fight to the end, most headed straight for the green light coming out.
Start loving yourself as your mother did when you were a child. You need it sometimes.
You must be logged in to post a comment.