Living in today's world of big cities for mobile phones, laptops and other high-tech gadgets is not just a bustle but a personality. We make money and invest our time and effort in making more money. Is it over? Not usually because we have never been satisfied. How often do we tell ourselves that if we had more money, life would be so wonderful? However, after receiving a major upgrade, do we realize that it was not enough and that we needed more?
What Should You Do?
I read many books about life, like Robin Sharma's Monk saying this and the monk saying that, and they all seemed to say that money was not needed. But it is. Can you do without cash and much more? I know I can't.
So I went to the local Rabbi and asked for advice on how to find my real way of life.
The rabbi nodded and led me to the window. What do you see? He asked me.
Immediately, I replied, I see people going up and down and the blind man asking for help on the left.
The rabbi nodded and directed me to the large mirror. Now look and tell me what you see?
I can see myself, replied the man.
Rabbi smiled. Now you can't see anyone else. The mirror and window are both made of the same immature material: glass, but because in one of them they use a thin layer of silver, if you look at everything you can see it is your own image.
The rabbi put his arm around my shoulders. Compare them with those two pieces of glass. Outside the silver plate, he saw other people and felt sorry for them. When you are covered with silver, you see yourself.
I looked at the Rabbi and stared. I do not understand.
Rabbi continued. You will only be human if you have the courage to remove the silver veil over your eyes so that you can see and love others. He patted me on the back and walked me away.
I thought about what she had said and came to the conclusion that she had a point. Yes. We need money, and we should not aim to live a life without money; it is pointless and will cause us and our families many heartaches in the future.
Instead, I suggest that we follow the rabbi's advice. As we approach life with a silver cover, which we can see for ourselves. But get rid of that cover, and you'll be able to see and hear everyone.
In life, we are allowed and should be able to look at both types of mirrors, but we must remember that the mirror reflects only us; the window is the door to compassion, health and true wealth. In other words, seek wealth by all means, but do not let it rob you of life, people, children and the poor and needy.
When I look through a window, I see life. I see children playing on a green field and having a merry time. I see the cheerfulness and the laughs on their faces. I see old people sitting under a tree reminiscing on the good old days when they were once young. I see birds flying over the green, crisp land looking for food to bring home to their babies. I see squirrels running up and down the trees trying to search for nuts. Looking through a window, I see life. The sun comes upon the horizon and the rooster makes its presence for the day to begin. Looking through a window, I see opportunity. I see all the things that I can become in life if I put my mind to it. I see a businessman who will one day become the head of a big corporation and be like Donald Trump and say, "YOU'RE FIRED!" Sometimes when I look through a window, I see darkness. The feeling of not knowing where you are going or what you are getting into. I could be walking in circles instead of going forward, or running too fast and falling off the edge of a cliff. But just as fate was sealed its self, a bright light shines through glass and a luminous ray is laid upon the Caspian Sea. Looking through a window, I see waves. I see a fisherman hunting for food to survive, while competing with Mother Nature. I see the determination of human beings and how they cope with other individuals in the real world. When looking through a window, the things that you find are limitless. The world is constantly changing, and the view is not always what you want it to be; we must learn to adapt.
I look out through a window and see life. I see caps and gowns, joy reflected in the grins of a thousand faces. I see an aisle, a radiant bride and a grinning groom, a shining spark of hope, the dawn of a new beginning. I see an infant gurgling happily, entranced by the swirls on the birthday cake before him and the single candle rising atop it, while the young parents stand beaming with ecstasy behind him. All the more saddening because the cake is a lie. Suddenly, the scene flickers and fades, and I return to reality. The window is an illusion, an image projected over the equations, the diagrams, the theorems and metaphors scrawled along the walls of my prison. That window, the future promise of a better life, is the thread of hope that keeps me on the path, that pushes me towards the narrow gate of success. The walls are closing in, my potential is bursting at the seams, striving to break free, and I am so close and still so very far from receiving the key that will unlock my prison; soon I will be free, and I will realize that potential at college. And on that day when I stand with my peers... on that day, that window will be my reality.
Make the images go in chronological order.
Also, take out the shimmering. It doesn't add much to the essay. Instead, show that each of these images exists at the same time, because all of these hopes for the future coexist in your mind.
Lastly, I think the part once you've revealed that the window isn't real shouldn't be so negative. Focus on the fact that the window is a guiding light, not on how hard your life is now. Maybe take out one of the metaphors, the prison and the razor's edge area lot for such a short essay. I would say develop the prison one, but don't make it look like your life is so bleak. It's good to show that high school was hard on you academically, but make it seem like you feel on top of the world for getting there and will continue through college with the same mindset.
But don't get me wrong, you have a great essay here! My suggestions are just technicalities.
If you get a chance, please read mine:
All the more saddening because the cake is a lie. ---this sentence is incomplete, but that is okay, because you have "poetic license." But if you want a complete sentence, you can do this:
The fact that the cake is a lie makes it a sad scene. Suddenly, the scene flickers and fades, and I return to reality. The window is an illusion, an image projected over
...the key that will unlock my prison; soon I will be free, and I will realize that potential at college. ---This essay may be more abstract than it should be. I think the end of it should be revised, because you already established that you are stuck in a kind of isolation... you do not have to spell it out for the reader. It would be better to use the end of the essay to name some concrete goals associated with this freedom you want. How, specifically, do you envision your future?
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