Most healthy children naturally have the ability to eat intuitively; that is, to eat when they’re hungry and stop eating once they’re full.
Children who are able to hold on to this ability can benefit tremendously by developing a healthy relationship with food, eating a healthier diet higher in fruits and vegetables, and maintaining a moderate weight as they grow up (1Trusted Source, 2Trusted Source).
However, as time passes, some children lose touch with these natural signals and start eating as a response to situations, emotions, or learned “rules” rather than physical cues.
In this article, I’ll discuss intuitive eating principles for kids, and how you as a parent or guardian can help your child eat more intuitively.
Basic intuitive eating principles for kids
Intuitive eating (IE) is a way of eating that promotes a positive relationship with food and the body (3Trusted Source).
This evidenced-based, non-diet, weight-neutral approach to eating was created by registered dietitians
IE helps teach adults and children to listen to and follow their physical hunger and satiety (fullness) cues as opposed to emotional or external triggers when determining when, what, and how much to eat (5Trusted Source).
Children are usually born with the natural ability to eat intuitively. As babies, they drink milk when they’re hungry and stop drinking it when they’re full. The same can be generally said about their first solid foods.
However, as they age, children are exposed to increasing amounts of external eating influences.
Because of this, as they become older, you may see children start eating out of boredom, because a parent, sibling, or friend is eating, simply because food is present, or because they have learned “rules” about when and what to eat.
Around preschool age, children may start expressing “hunger” for a specific food they consider especially tasty when externally triggered — like a sundae when passing the ice cream parlor or a lollipop when passing the candy store.
Applying principles of IE with kids will help them maintain their natural ability to eat when hungry and stop when full.
It can also help prevent external influences from affecting their eating patterns as they get older, possibly reducing the likelihood of emotional eating, mindless eating, overeating, or disordered eating (1Trusted Source, 6Trusted Source)
Heads up
Trying to “do it right” when it comes to nutrition may feel tempting, but it can backfire.
If you — or children in your care — are preoccupied with food or your weight, feel guilt surrounding food choices, or routinely engage in restrictive diets, consider reaching out for support. These behaviors may indicate a disordered relationship with food or an eating disorder.
Disordered eating and eating disorders can affect anyone, regardless of gender identity, race, age, body size, socioeconomic status, or other identities.
They can be caused by any combination of biological, social, cultural, and environmental factors — not just by exposure to diet culture.
Feel empowered to talk with a qualified healthcare professional, such as a registered dietitian, if you’re struggling. Pediatric dietitians work specifically with kids and can help your child if they need support.
You can also chat, call, or text anonymously with trained volunteers at the National Eating Disorders Association helpline for free or explore the organization’s free and low cost resources.
How to implement intuitive eating for kids at mealtimes
There are three main practical things you can do as a parent to encourage your child to eat intuitively.
1. Forfeit control over how much your child eats
Start by getting used to the idea that it is not your responsibility to force your child to eat.
According to dietitian Ellen Salter well-respected principle of division of responsibility in feeding, parents and children each have a separate set of responsibilities during mealtimes (7).
Sticking to each person’s individual responsibilities can help reduce mealtime stress and frustration. It also encourages your child to maintain their natural intuitive eating ability.
Salter division of responsibility in feeding states that, as a parent, you should become responsible for:
What you offer your child to eat: The bulk of their diet should consist of a variety of nutrient-rich, minimally-processed meals and snacks.
When you offer your child to eat: Offer food at regular times, spread evenly throughout the day.
Where your child eats: It’s best that they eat while sitting at the table without any external distractions, such as the television or toys.
On the other hand, your child should become responsible for:
Whether they’ll eat: Your child should decide for themselves if they are feeling physically hungry enough to eat at that moment.
How much they’ll eat: The amount they eat will be governed by their own internal hunger and satiety signals rather than external cues, such as how much food is leftover on their plate.
Your child is the best-suited to know whether they feel hungry and what amount of food they need to eat to satisfy that hunger.
Trusting your child to decide how much to eat and when to stop eating, rather than trying to get them to eat the amount you think they should eat, will help promote and strengthen their ability to eat intuitively.
2. Keep mealtimes pleasant
When providing your child with a meal or snack, make sure to do so in a calm environment that’s free of distractions.
Most meals should be served while your child is sitting down, ideally at the table. In order to best stimulate intuitive eating, make sure to remove any toys from the table and turn off the television or tablet.
Try timing your meals and snacks so that you eat at the same time as your child, if possible. This strategy can help model the eating behaviors that you’d like your child to develop, including IE.
If you find yourself regularly getting into power struggles with your child around mealtimes, try shifting the focus from food toward pleasant conversation instead.
For instance, ask your child about their favorite part of their day or the activity they’d like to do after the meal.
Doing so can help curb the reflex to negotiate, coerce, or cajole your child into trying a new food or telling them to take a few more bites before they can have dessert.
Taking away the pressure a child feels around the food they’re eating — or refusing to eat — can, over time, help that child be more open to trying new foods.
3. Enforce your boundaries
While it’s important to empower your child to take responsibility for whether they’ll eat and how much they’ll eat, it’s equally important for you to be firm regarding your own responsibilities.
As the parent, you are the one who should decide what meals and snacks to offer your child. You should definitely encourage your child to make suggestions.
However, especially with young children, you should always have the final say as to ensure that meals and snacks remain nutritious and well-balanced.
In addition, it’s important that you make it clear to your child that once you have settled on a meal or snack, you will not be providing an alternate option if they ultimately decide not to eat what you have prepared for them.
Once a meal or snack time has gone by, try storing the food away until the next eating moment.
That will prevent your child from mindlessly grazing on foods throughout the day, which can cause them to lose touch with their hunger and satiety signals.
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