Divorce is the process of ending a marriage or conjugal union. Divorce usually means the annulment or reorganization of the legal obligations and responsibilities of marriage, dissolving the marital bonds between a married couple according to the legal system of a particular country or state. Divorce is not an easy process for a family. However, sometimes divorce becomes a necessity for a couple because they may have reached a crossroads in their marriage, and it might be better for both of them to separate. Adults going through the divorce process must adjust to new changes that include a number of decisions related to financial and emotional aspects.
This process is even more difficult for children, especially when they are very young. Children at a tender age are not able to understand the new changes that result from the fundamental fact that they will not be able to live with both parents as one family. Therefore, the children have to adapt to the immediate change of living with one parent alone and seeing the other parent only occasionally during the designated visiting hours. It is even more difficult when a parent has decided to emigrate and permanently move away from the children's country of residence, which leads to even fewer personal visits. Emotionally, all these changes burden the child's psyche, and parents must try to make the transition as cordial and friendly as possible.
Studies show that the divorce process can have the following effects on children, depending on their age:
For toddlers and preschoolers: because they are so young, children do not understand the need to be permanently separated from one parent. The concept of two houses can fill children with worry and fear. They feel anxious when they cannot be with both parents, and may often feel that the absent parent does not love them.
For elementary school-age children: The divorce process can cause them stress and anxiety, and often makes them feel guilty about the changes it brings. Children in this age group often think of guilt and may feel that the divorce is due to their mistakes or shortcomings.
Research shows that children are often the most affected by contested divorces, which can be reflected in increased behavioral problems, poor academic performance and also children's mental health.
Children need to adjust to new changes, and one of the best ways is to stick to a regular visitation schedule and ensure they have easy access to both parents that suits their needs. A regular schedule helps bring a needs-based structure to their lives, and children can understand that both parents are regularly prioritizing their needs.
Parental support and reassurance can avoid many potential problems, especially if parents can put their children's needs before anything else. Parents should also consider seeking professional help, which may include medical and psychological support to help their children. Addressing anxiety issues through professional help has been shown to be of great value to children. A professional is often able to identify the cause of the problem, rather than focusing solely on behavioral problems, and can help parents better understand and guide them in helping their children manage such problems.
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