It can be challenging if you are in a relationship with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) because of their unstable emotions. People with this disorder need all the help they can get because they struggle with insecurities, self-doubts, feelings of emptiness, explosive emotions, etc.
In this article, you will get answers to questions like how does BPD affect relationships. You will also learn what BPD means and the common signs of this disorder.
What does borderline personality disorder mean?
A borderline personality disorder is a mental health condition that affects how you feel and think about yourself and the people around you, especially those closest to you.
This disorder makes it difficult to experience stable relationships because the person is always thinking about the worst that could happen.
People struggling with BPD also tend to see the extremes in situations. Therefore, they are more likely to make decisions impulsively, not minding the consequences.
To learn more about Borderline personality disorder, Jonathan Hill and other authors prepared robust research for this purpose. The study is titled Attachment, Borderline Personality, and Romantic Relationship Dysfunction.
5 signs of BPD relationships
One of the ways to help someone with BPD is to verify if they are showing the symptoms. You might be in a relationship with a person with BPD and face some challenges peculiar to this disorder.
Even though you cannot force someone with BPD to opt for treatment, you must first learn to recognize the common signs.
1. Desperate efforts to avoid abandonment by family and close friends
Trying too hard to evade being neglected by people close to them, like family, friends, and romantic partners, is one of the signs of borderline personality relationships.
People with BPD don’t trust their close folks enough to stay around them for a long time. They might expect their loved ones to wake up one day and decide to walk out of their lives.
This is why they keep suspecting their loved ones when they notice signs or patterns that remind them of rejection.
In a familial setting, someone with BPD who has siblings and parents will always conflict with them. They may keep thinking that everyone is focused on themselves and pays no attention to them.
The same applies to those in romantic relationships because the individual with BPD believes that their partner will soon break up with them.
2. Low self-esteem
One of the ways to know that any of the individuals in a relationship has BPD is when they struggle with self-esteem issues. Such people may have problems maintaining high self-esteem, and their confidence mostly depends on what people say.
Therefore, they can have low self-esteem for a long time if they receive criticism. On the other hand, if they get praised or get nice words for doing something good, their self-esteem goes up.
It might be accurate to mention that people with BPD have self-doubt, so their identity is defined by what people say about them.
Often, they feel incomplete, inadequate, and dependent. Sometimes, they may imitate other people’s behaviors, adopting their strengths and flaws because their ability to stay independent is quite defective.
3. Lack of empathy
On how does BPD affect relationships, one of the signs you will notice is people with this disorder usually have a hard time showing empathy. They find it hard to see themselves in the shoes of other people.
This is why people with a borderline personality disorder might not be there for them when their partners or friends are going through difficult situations.
Also, if they are in a romantic relationship and their partner complains about something, they might need help understanding the gravity of what they mean. They may unintentionally trivialize their pain because they are not on the same emotional wavelength.
On the other hand, if people with BPD are going through a difficult time, they expect people to understand them. If they don’t get the desired support, they may think they are being abandoned.
4. Toxic relationships
One of the common BPD symptoms in relationships is the quality of their relations with romantic partners, friends, and family. Some prefer to be with people who can satisfy their emotional needs.
However, when they discover that they are not meeting the expected standards, they leave them and move on to the next. As a result, people with BPD find it hard to trust in relationships, which is why they struggle with anxiety and other forms of emotional unrest.
Hence, this leads to the breeding of toxic relationships in the long run because their feelings are unstable. The same applies to relationships like friendships; they find it hard to maintain close relations with friends.
So, they may keep swinging from one friend to the other, looking for the ideal person who will not abandon them.
5. Lack of future plans/ambitions in relationships
Another possible sign you may notice in people with a borderline personality disorder is that they don’t like thinking about the future. Many are focused on the present, hoping those they love will not reject them.
So, they live in fear and uncertainty, not being sure of what the future holds. This is why they may find it difficult to plan with their loved ones because they are unsure of their loyalty.
For instance, in romantic relationships, a partner with BPD might be reluctant to make solid and futuristic plans with their partner.
They suspect their partner might leave, making it hard to start building again with someone else. Therefore, they prefer to live in the moment and see each day as it comes.
Sara Navarro and other brilliant authors prepared an extensive narrative review on how people with borderline personality disorder behave in relationships. The study is titled Romantic Relationships of People with Borderline Personality.
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