No parent eagerly counts down the days until their child is a teenager who is dating. It's not typically a stage in life parents look forward to. Regardless of the anxiety and dread you might feel as your baby begins to explore romantic interests, teen dating is coming in hot and heavy... and you'll want to be prepared for what that means for you and your child long before your teen's date is on your doorstep.
Teen Dating: It Isn't What It Used to Be
Teen dating has undergone some seriously drastic changes within the last few decades. Where once the experience was marked by varsity jacket wearing, drive-in movies, school dances, and courting rituals synonymous with the movie Grease, it is now a minefield of gray areas.
Dating ain't what it used to be, folks, and if you are raising teens, you have to get educated, like yesterday, to help safely guide your teen through their dating experiences.
A Shift From Face-to-Face to Virtual
Once upon a time, a date meant a person picked a romantic interest up and took them somewhere to get better acquainted. Maybe they went to dinner and a movie, or roller skating or a school dance. Perhaps they hung out with other teens at a bonfire, the mall, or a friend's basement rec room. Dating during yesteryear almost always included face-to-face interactions because smartphones, iPads and other virtual communication devices were not yet the norm.
These days, those stages of "getting to know a person" are often done via a screen. So much teen "dating" takes place on a teen dating app, over a screen, or in the virtual realm. This shift is a massive one that has likely changed the culture and landscape of teenage dating for all time.
teenagers face to face
Teens have always been influenced by elements of pop culture, trends, and signs of the times. Today's teens are immersed in romantically weighty (and brazen) shows that they binge watch on repeat. They think that these shows portray typical relationships. Because teen brains are still young and immature, they might confuse fiction and reality, especially and particularly because of pop culture and what they are exposed to. It is a parent's job to help kids entering the dating world understand that television is fictional, and their dating experiences should not emulate what they see on the small or big screen or in music.
Setting the Ground Rules for Teen Dating
Most parents require their teenagers to abide by some set of rules. With regard to dating, it is common to have rules in place to keep children safe and in line with their family values. The teen dating rules you enforce should be based on your core morals and ethics. Rules often work best when they are formulated in collaboration between the teenager and the parents. When everyone contributes to rules, dating-related or otherwise, there is often less resistance when it comes to following them.
Meeting New Partners and Friends
Whoever your teen is interested in getting to know on a "romantic" level needs to be on your radar. In short: know who your kid is associating with. Meet them, ask them questions, spend a few minutes in their company, and observe how they treat and respond to your child. Beyond that, find out who runs in the inner circle of the prospective date.
Meeting your teenager's new date might be uncomfortable for everyone involved. That's okay! This is all part of the social skill/relationship building and navigation process that teenagers will utilize for their entire adult lives. Remember that when you meet your kid's new love interest, you might have some reservations about this person. This person is new and has their eye on your most cherished treasure, your child. Figure out if your reservations are because you have some red flags regarding this person, or if you are feeling like no one will ever be good enough to date your baby. Basically, know when your reservations are rational and when they aren't.
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